Unexpected visitors

Severus Snape was finally back home. It was awfully late, or rather, it was starting to be early. He was exhausted.

« You look awful. » said a quiet, raspy voice. Severus was startled. After half a second of blank, he just answered :

-Oh, thank you for your insight. It’s the perfect conclusion to this long day I’ve just had. »

-Long day AND night. It’s two in the morning, Severus. What took you so long? »

-Oh, right. You mean : the safe inspection of your deadly coffers at Gringotts was supposed to take, what? Five minutes? I’m not through a fourth of the first one, so expect it to take ages. When to think about how parsimonious your uncle was… Like he was collecting coins for the shiny quality. You’re welcome, by the way. It’s ridiculous, being this rich. Oh, that, and I was pursued by vampires. »

-They scared you. I’ll kill them. »

-Vampires are dead, already. That’s why they’re called ‘undead’. » Severus was actually generally preoccupied. He was back, out and about, and now the news would be spreading quickly. He wondered whom it would be spreading to. Was he safe? He wasn’t quite sure.

-Well, I’ll kill them. Again. » Severus smiled.

-Just their luck. Keep your fangs at rest, girl. They were irritating. Not hostile. »

-What did they want with you? » Severus sighed. He could already hear his friend’s enthousiasm.

-They came from a… Distant uncle who’s dying. They were looking for an heir. »

-Coffers? »

-No. Just some ruin, Merlin knows where. » The girl was quick. She gasped emphathetically :

-Land? »

-Apparently. »

-That’s GREAT! »

-Of course, except they’re linked to the land, which would make me their new « master », which would mean I would have to feed them, regularly. » Suneko sobered up, then offered :

-Take the land, stab the vampires. Problem solved. »

-Magical contract. I’m not sure they’re that easy to deal with. »

-Hum. That is a drawback. »

-Isn’t it? »

-Would it have to be your blood? »

-Would you give yours? »

-I did share some of mine, when you were dying, a few years back. » Severus didn’t know what to say. She had never told him that.

-No idea of the quantity needed, and every month is a bit much. »

-We should still visit. »

-Perhaps. »

All the while during this conversation, Severus had been distracted : he couldn’t help but noticing a few decoration changes. In fact, he could hardly recognize his living room. Plants had been placed all around the bookshelves. The sofa had been replaced by crawling, twisted tree branches, and by a couple of pouffes casually displayed. There was a sort of mini stone grotto, in a corner. It was awfully warm. And there was, of course, the little detail of the dozen snakes, crawling around. Suneko noticed his gaze, and simply commented :

« I brought a few friends. Do you mind? »

-I mean : thank you for asking me now. » She schruged unapologetically :

-You were away. And I was bored, and worried sick, by the way. »

-Hence the snake party. Who doesn’t need a boa to tea? » Severus wasn’t fond of snakes (understandibly). But she was around, and he knew he was pretty safe. Still.

-Don’t just stay there standing. Sit. » she said.

-Oh thank you for your hospitality in my own home. That’s so sweet. » He was glad he was home, though. Even with the swarming mess on the floor. So, he did.

Severus froze and looked down, as he felt one of her « friends » slowly curl around his leg.

« Pedro wants a better view. » She explained. Trays with snacks and drinks appeared on their knees.

-Now, he wants some of your duck. » she translated, while feeding a couple of her other « friends » by hand. Severus was starving, but he didn’t want to displease the heavy venomous mass of fangs and scales perching on his shoulder, so he decided a bit of his dinner was a worthy sacrifice. He heard a happy hiss;

-He likes you. He said : this is cosy. »

-‘Cosy’ must be the snake word for ‘chaos’. »

-Oh, shut up. »

At that point, Severus saw the whole scene from outside himself, and felt the uncanniness of it. The change of decoration out of the blue, the reversed hospitality behaviour, the carpet of snakes all over the floor, climbing up his legs « for a view ». The Dark Lord had turned his snake friend Nagini, into an extension of himself. She had turned the whole place up side down to make them feel at ease. She had never done that before, he mused. It’s almost like she was the one who were starting to feel comfortable with me. The idea made him feel fuzzy and warm, inside. On the other hand, his feelings were mixed. It didn’t exactly feel cosy to see all of these snakes crawling around his feet. He still had bad dreams about Nagini.

« Do you want to see something fun? » she said playfully.

-Why not? » what did she have in store exactly?

She let out the softest hiss he had ever heard, and a tiny whitish snake slid from her sleeve.

« This is Noodle. Most of my other friends are wild. They come and go. But this one is a clinger, so she’ll be likely to be hiding up my sleeve like a living bracelet everywhere I go. »

-I’ve never seen her. »

-Of course. She hides, mostly. »

-What type of snake is she? »

-A flat head. Pretty, isn’t she? »

-Irresistible. »

-Well… She is more than just a lovely face. She’s also an incredible actress. Do you want to see? »

-The suspense is killing me. »

She looked at the little reptile, and hissed what seemed to be instructions. The reptile in question was intently listening to her, in a fixed, attentive position. Pedro and the other snakes had finished their dinner, and were back on the floor. Some had found their way to the little grotto, and were ready to doze off. His tray was taken away, and hers was emptied of all of its content.

Suneko let Noodle slide on the now empty platter, and stretched out her hand. A paper knife lended in it.

Then, she cleared her throat, and recited emphathetically :

« Begone, foul children eating monster! For I am the great hero Harry Potter, come to save the world! I shall cut thy infamous head, and make a necklace out of your teeth! Fear me, evil beast! »

To which Noodle answered with more furious hissing, and twisting, and fake biting. Suneko lifted a little finger, and a paper bird appeared out of nowhere, and brushed the little serpent’s head. Noodle was now obviously twisting in fake agonizing pain. Finally, Suneko brandished her paper knife vehemently to the ceiling :

« And now, die, secret horror of the deep! The world is safe, at last! I demand it! »

After which she touched her little friend with the paper knife lightly. Noodle let out a pathetic last hiss to express her fake suffering, and let herself fall on the tray in a dramatic dying scene.

« Impressive. » Severus had to admit.

He’d been chuckling all along. A wicked idea had just crossed his mind, actually :

« The children would like it. » he grinned

-What children? »

-Weasley’s of course. We could make an exceptionnal event or two at the shop. I’m sure they would appreciate the show. The bravest of them could even take part in it. Some would definately want to play Harry Potter with a real living snake. Gryffindors or future gryffindors, likely. »

-I’m not sure. That would be a lot of people. »

-Oh, come on. You work in a hospital. If she’s always with you, she must be used to people. »

Suneko was quiet, intently looking at him.

« What? » he snapped, feeling under scrutiny.

-Why do you insist? »

-I think it would be a good idea. For the kids. »

-Why do you even care about the kids? I thought you hated them. » She noticed with a witty smile.

-Will you stop it, now? » he retorted irritatingly.

-Never mind. It’s late. We should go to bed, anyway. Whatever you did with it. And, hum… Suneko? »

-Yes? » He hardly dared asking the question.

-Your… Eye colour was starting to change, when you were angry, back in Saint Mango’s. » About to choke that woman to death, he omitted to say.

-Oh, that? That’s nothing. »

-You were just turning, I guess. Nothing to worry about. » She sighed with an expression of sad resignation, and explained :

-I only risk to turn when I’m threatened. It’s not too bad if my eyes just turn purple, anyway. I’ve seen it on my mother. It’s just… If my eyes turn red… Run. »

-And sweet dreams to you too… » Severus mumbled. She hissed something under her breath, and shook her shoulders, looking down :

-He’s scared of me, like all the others. » His heart thumped. He lifted her chin :

-I want my Defense Against the Dark Arts shop. And I want you to settle your apothecary shop too. I want us to meet the best specialists to get proper aprenticeship, and earn ourselves quite a reputation. So yes, I want you to keep your snake under control, because you couldn’t heal anyone without hands. I’m sure we’ll find ways. And I’ll make do with… » he vaguely showed his new living room decoration.

-This mess. »


The morning light had been starting to seep through the window. Severus Snape hadn’t exactly been sleeping well. His conscience had turned on and off, in between bad dreams populated by Nagini, and other objects of his worries. Now, he was grateful for the day to come, and its various distractions. He was about to get up, when his face was attacked by a braid, coming from the ceiling. He screamed in surprise.

« What’s wrong? » said a worried, sleepy voice. He had to breathe in and out, before answering :

-Suneko, what… Are you doing… In my room, on the ceiling? » Up there, she had installed a bar, where she was casually hanging.

-You were screaming, last night. I came to make sure you were alright. It was just a nightmare, and I didn’t want to wake you up. So, I just decided to stretch, for a bit, and then be on my way… I must have fallen asleep. »

-Upside down. On the ceiling. » Severus said flatly.

-As you can see. Breakfast? »

The heritage

Severus Snape had just about reached Spinner’s end. It was night time. He was cold. He tried to light up a cigarette, but somebody had banished cigarettes from his life. Invisible house elves were involved in this shady business. So, the cigarette disappeared. She was so annoying. He thought about how convenient a cigarette might have been, after this long, stressful day between saint Mango’s and Gringrotts. Somebody had an unhealthy obsession about health, really.

As he was walking, a tight knot appeared in his stomach. He wasn’t sure why. The alley was empty. But for some reason, his instinct was telling him that he was not quite alone. And he didn’t exactly feel in the best company. He crossed the little river. The turpid waters were moving slowly, in the gentle breeze, and glistening in the moonlight. He rolled his eyes thinking about his young friend praising the charm of good old spinners end. An eerie kind of beauty, girl… Really. He went through the passage that led to the main lane, facing the old factory. The main tower stood there, as always, ominous in the deeper darkness. He turned his back on it, as his house was somewhere at the end of the alley. He was almost there. And yet, the knot in his stomach grew tighter, still. He put his hands in his pockets, and reached for his wand. Something was definately lurking. He would have to be quick. He could almost smell the danger.

He looked around. Turned. There was no breathing, no footsteps, no friction of fabric to be heard. Not one sound. And yet, a human shape was detaching itself from one of the abandonned houses’s shadows. It looks human, he thought. But it felt terribly wrong. Whatever that thing was, it was cursed. He let out his wand without a word. The second it seemed to make a motion, he stroke. The curse hit, and… Nothing happened. The shape then moved supernaturally fast in his direction. It looked male. Its face was hollow, its eyes red, and its greyish skin was clearly dotted with traces of decay. The corners of its discoloured lips rose in a twisted smile, that showed yellowish pointy canines. No. That couldn’t possibly be a vampire. Vampires were scarce. They were discreet, ever since they had almost been extinct, to the point where a Society for the Tolerance of Vampires had been created. Wild vampires were not supposed to exist. Not in here. Still, this being looked exactly like one. And not the kind of vampire meekly sucking on blood flavoured lollipops in Honeydukes under the protection of the STV. Severus Snape tried to strike again. Nothing.

« What are you? What do you want? » He finally said. He was keeping his voice and demeanor steady, but the unease was growing, he had to admit.

« A bit of politeness, finally. » the thing said.

« You cannot curse me, I’m afraid. I am already dead. » He had a foreign accent. Eastern Europe, possibly.

« Anything can be cursed. Even zombies and inferni. So can you. I’d advise you to avoid getting closer. »

Severus didn’t have time to react, when it threw itself at him. In a split second, he was pushed on a wall, and teeth were about to sink into his neck, when he managed to throw a fire spell. This time, the rogue vampire squeeled as it burned. When he saw the fire extinguish itself way too quickly on the burning, rotten skin, Severus knew that it was time to run. And he did.

« RUDE! » roared the infuriated, half burned, undead, as it threw itself at him again.

Quite filled with his survival preoccupations, Severus Snape hardly realized that another silent human shape had just emerged from the darkness. The undead froze, in the middle of his attack, and frowned, as a feminine voice resonated.

« You have a familiar face. » That one looked like a blonde, woman in a white dress. It had the most disturbingly pale, ivory skin. Its hair were tighed in a tight bun. It stank like death itself. Its eyes were red, and ancient. Cold sweat was running down Severus’s spine. He hadn’t felt this uneasy in a while. The feeling came right from his guts. These things were dangerous.

-I don’t think we’ve already met. » Severus replied, as he proceeded to burn the lane to repel the beasts. The flames grew high in front of him. The first undead hissed out of frustration and pain. Then its red eyes grew wide with recognition.

« I know you! » he exclaimed.

-No vhay. » the female answered her friend coldly, crossing her arms.

-I hate to say I told you so… »

-You love to say it. »

-Vhell… Someone has to be a little sensible vhen someone else never listens, and runs after people fangs first. » the female vampire lectured.

-Yada, yada, yada… » mocked the male.

-Look at me, I’m so civilized, ner, ner ner… How do vhe make sure if vhe don’t bite, genious? »

-Vhe look at zher portrait, Dobri! Zher eyes are just right! Forgive my little brozher, he’s a savage. » she told Severus, before turning to her brother again :

-Look, he got the wrong idea, he’s burning everyzhing, now! »

-It’s easy to look like a portrait. » the male retorted, stubbornly.

-Master Odrog protect us… Zhen, vhe talk! Like any ozher sentient being! Are you a Prince? You have to be a Prince. » she asked Severus directly.

-No, I’m not. » Severus said.

-Hah! » the male exclaimed.

-I’m Severus Snape. »

-Zher half blood! » the female told her brother triomphantly.

-Untrue! He’s dead! You’re supposed to be dead! » Severus was tired, and scared, and upset.

-Well, I’m stronger than I look! » he snarled, while summoning a fire ball into his hands.

-Interesting. » the male mused, raising a surprised eye brow.

-Who sent you? »

-Easy, easy… Hold your horses, zhere. Vhe’re not going to hurt you. Young people are so easily vhorried. Do not burn zher neighbourhood, just yet. »

-What do you want from me? »

-If my little brozher had been a little civilized, he vhould have explained zhat our master, mister Engaram Prince, is currently dying. Vhe have been instructed to inqvhire about his family, scattered across zhe vhorld, to discuss zhe tedious matter of zher master’s heritage. You might vhell be zhe only suitable heir, now ! I zhink you should come visit, mister Snape. Zher master doesn’t have much time, left. » Severus’s careful expression had just gone through several micro changes, as the vampire was saying all this. He didn’t feel the same way about his pure blood family than in his youth. There was no hope to belong, no crave for legitimacy, left. Only anger. He nodded coldly :

-What is it to me? I suggest you go look for other Princes, then. As you now know, I am no Prince. My mother was disowned for marrying a muggle. She too died alone. So, why should I care? Your master would not approve of me, anyway. My blood isn’t pure. I need no heritage. I can make my own money myself. »

-Humans and zheir principles… Zhere is no such zhing as a pure blood. Only heazhy bloodlines and power. »

-I suggest you tell that to your master. There was such a thing as a pure blood when her family abandonned my mother. » The undead trampled with impatience.

-Vhell… He’s a dying man. And vhe’ve been looking all over zhe vhorld. And zhese last generations have not exactly been very… Prolific in terms of children. And people are so instable, zhese dayz. Alvhays needing to travel. And zhere haz been vhars all over zhe place. » Severus was wearing his impassive face. They should not have disowned mother,then, he thought to himself.

-What kind of heritage? » he couldn’t help but wonder aloud with a thoughtful, level headed voice.

-Vhell, a castle… »

-A ruin, I suppose, if no one came flocking to your master’s death bead. » The female sighed. She hadn’t denied Severus’s supposition about his potential heritage. He figured he was right. But thinking about Suneko’s project, and just for curiosity’s sake, he had to ask :

-Is there land, at least?

-zhat, zhere is, mister Snape. Zhat, zhere is… »

-You mean : there’s nothing else. »

-I mean zhat it’s quite enough, mister Snape. »

-Oh, is it? What’s so special, about it? » the vampires looked annoyed.

-Let’s just say zhat vhe are attached to it. »

Severus thought about this for a while. Attached, were they? More like bound to it. Else, why would they have needed to tend to an old man, in a ruin. And they needed to find an heir, for some reason. A « master ». And the last one they had in store was dying.

On the one hand, the land was available, and could be useful to his friend. He could possibly gain extra revenue from it. On the other hand… Would that land trap him too? There was a magical prize, to this heritage, wasn’t there?

« What’s the catch? » he asked bluntly.

-Vhe are zher catch, mister Snape. » the female answered reluntantly.

-You mean : I would be bound to you, and I would have to pay. With blood, of course. » the male looked down with a strange little smile, while the female shrugged with an embarrassed expression.

-How much blood? »

-Just vhonce a month. You vhould survive for as long as vhe could keep you. »

-That doesn’t answer my question. »

-My brozher means it vhould not be in our best interest to drain you. »

-Still, the price sounds high enough, for a ruin, and a little land. No wonder no heir is to be found. » The female threw up her hands. She gave him a little black cardboard square.

-Vhave zhis card if you vhant to visit zher castle. Zher master doesn’t have much time, as I said. Hopefully, you vhill be a little bit sensible. »

With this, the undeads disappeared into the night, out of thin air.

Visiting bullies

Oh, he’d never been a saint. Nor had he ever pretended to be. But the bitterness had been receding for a time, these last few years. After all, he’d been buisy recovering from the war, and building a life for himself. Somehow, it was good to be back. Snivellus had just resurfaced. Someone had to do the dirty work. Or… If putting bullies right back into place was dirty, dirty was going to happen. And shamelessly.

« Welcome back, you ugly fool. » he thought with a wry smile, as he put on a black shirt in front of the mirror.

« But I’ve got some muggle to visit, first. »

Having spent three years recovering from Nagini’s bite suited him well, he thought. Before the bite, he hadn’t been aquainted to mirrors, that much. He’d been so used to be called out for his appearance, that he’d just avoided them. He’d focussed on his academic prowress. He’d tried desesperately to prove himself. Then, he’d been living at a time of war, a second after the next, living of work, and guilt, and rage, and dread. So no, he had not been sleeping well, eating well, let alone cared for his own clothes, or hair, in any way. But recovering Severus had not been called names. Had not been looked at up and down. Had not been whispered at, behind his back. He’d been cared for, and respected. Another handy thing : he had not had to kill anyone, directly or undirectly. Had not had his life at stake. Or his mind. That was a pretty efficient beauty tip, that. Recovering Severus could choose his own job, and mind his own business, and therefore, eat better, sleep better, groom himself regularly, exercise. And as a consequence, the Severus Snape presently in the mirror looked significantly healthier. Quite tolerable a sight, as far as being himself could go.

Severus was not judgemental like a gryffindor. But he decided that a little judgement could not hurt, every so often. The consideration of Suneko’s struggles was mixing up with his memories of himself, having been given hell for over committing to studies and reading too much. You couldn’t be that stupid, though. Attacking a maledictus, no less! And for a borrowed book, please! Sometimes, people’s stupidity was so blatant you had to take it personally.

But before visiting the main course of idiocy, he had to have an apetizer. He had precautions to take. He didn’t want to hear word spread about Severus Snape apparating at Saint Mungo’s to hex healers. He had to take on another shape. He knew whose. He had longed to meet that lovely friend, longed to have a little face to face with her for years, decades. The occasion was too good. A perfect pretext. And total freedom. No strings attached. No chains.

4 Private Drive. So that was the adress. The very boring house was a shade of browning beige. Not one flower on that freshly lawned grass. Severus had observed for a while to figure out a way to catch Petunia Dursley on her own. He wanted to see her face, as she powerlessly watched his intrusion of her private space. He wanted her to sweat. The bathroom would do. Now. It would soon be the right time to apparate.

« Long time no see, huh, muggle. » he thought to himself, neglectfully running a hand through his hair.

« I bet you missed me. »

And whoosh he went.

« Hello, Pet. »

The expression of utter shock and horror on that famished ostrich’s face was well worth a thousand galleons. He quickly threw in a locking spell and a muffliato on the room with a wave of his hand. He added a spell to prevent her from ever being able to pronounce his name again.

« You!… But you… Y… »

-Dead. Absolutely. I’m a ghost come to hunt you, Pet. Oh, well. Bad weed never dies. You know what they say. »

She was at a loss for words. She tried to get out of the room, but of course, couldn’t.

« You wouldn’t try to slip away from me so soon, now, would you? We hardly met. We have so much to catch up on. » Her jaw clenched.

-What do you want, Snape? »

-But only to meet my favorite neighbour, Pet. Lily’s darling little sister. First, for the enjoyment of her sweet compagny, and then, because she would, of course, never deny me, should I need her help. » She got very red.

-Help you?! What for? You must be mad! Here you are, breaching into my house, into my very own bathroom! Do you think I don’t see you trying to intimidate me? But I won’t get intimidated by the likes of you! Whatever you think I’ll give you, keep dreaming! Over my dead body, you frea… »

-Oh, do say my favorite word. Please. I beg you. » growled Severus drawing his wand from his pocket.

She became very pale, and very quiet. He smirked :

« I thought you would be aware of your situation, here. But since you’re stupid, I’ll explain : you are so very lucky the dark Lord didn’t win the war, muggle. Even you, wizard hating lot have been protected. The ministry considers you’re weaklings, I suppose. You’re not even capable of proper hate. And bless your heart, you don’t know what we’re capable of. So, yes, the dark Lord is dead. But so is Albus Dumbledore. He won’t come to your rescue. Your nephew is also not here to save you, is he? That leaves just you and me. I’m here in my own name, no great man to muzzle me. And right now, your safety may depend on your attitude, Pet. I’m so tempted to kill you. You’ve no idea. »

He noticed with some satisfaction that she was slightly shaking. He went on.

« No more comment? Good. See, I’m a gentleman. I never touch a woman’s hair without a warning. »

She was now looking horrified, and shaking violently :

« I will never allow you to touch me, you filthy…! » she had no time to finish her sentence. He burst out laughing.

-Did you mean to say that out loud?? I’m not that desesperate, Merlin’s beard! »

Then, he flicked his wand, and a few hair left Petunia’s head to fly right into a little vial that had just slipped out of his pocket. He caught the vial with a satisfied smile.

« That wasn’t so bad, now, was it? »

Petunia Dursley looked confused.

While he was at it, Severus thought he could right some wrongs. He decided he was in the mood to be confrontational.

« By the way : I read a very interesting book about your nephew. It’s called Harry Potter : a tragic childhood, by Rita Skeeter. You really didn’t like the boy, did you? Oh I hated him to guts, too. I wanted him expelled. He was so insolent. Just like his father. But you… You underfed him and made him live in a cupboard didn’t you? »

Severus wished he’d known, back in the day. He had sympathized with the boy more, when he’d read the book. Turned out they had something in common. But knowing this years after Hogwarts, was too late. Skeeter haden’t exagerated, this time. Dursey’s silence and the stiffness of her jaw was a pretty obvious confession.

« You told him his parents had died in a car accident. You deliberately hid from him the fact that he was a wizard. Huh. I knew you were petty, but I didn’t know you could be that cruel. Talk about jealousy and frustration… »

-How dare you judge me! We raised that fr… Child! He was imposed on us by the way. We did everything we could to make him normal… » She winced and bended down.

Normal like you? He’d thought. He’d been through this kind of education. He knew all too well what kind of a person he was dealing with. He’d heard it all, before. The same excuses. And he knew the truth : She’d just been trying to feel less weak, as many muggles did. She’d dealt with the anomaly. Rang a bell, didn’t it? So, the cruciatus curse had escaped his wand automatically.

« This one is for me. » he declared calmly.

At the second cruciatus curse, Petunia Dursley fell on her knees.

« This one is for the boy. » His dark eyes were now deeply despiseful.

At the third cruciatus curse, she yelled her heart out, crowling.

« This one is for Lily.« 


The hospital was made of high walls and grey bricks, thick, and dark, and wintry, like a prison. It was getting late, and the streets were empty. The healer in question was on a smoking break at the corner of the main door. Her name was Regina Blazen. Her square, red face was frozen in a perpetual pout. She was squinting hard, as though there was some riddle she didn’t quite understand in the pattern of the streets. Her hair were stale and a greyish blond. Even from afar, she looked neglected and grumpy. Severus Snape was hiding in a phone cabin across the street. He reluctantly drank from his vial of polyjuice. He grimaced at the bitterness. Petunia Dursley tasted as awful as she looked. Soon enough, of course, his body changed. He had to tighten his belt, and the shirt around his hips. Huh. Being Petunia Dursley for a night. Wasn’t that a dream come true. Anyway, it was amusing at the same time. Let’s do this, he thought to himself. A swine for a swine. He breathed in and crossed the street.

« Hello, there. » he said.

« Ugly building. Is that a prison? » The woman had a faint surprised expression. Then, she threw in a strange, pinched smile.

-No, ma’am. T’s a hospital. »

-Oh, dear. And people come here on purpose? »

-They have to, you know. T’ what we do, save lives. They don’t have a choice. »

-Oh, I see. So you’re caring for the weaklings and the left outs. You’re the one in prison. » Regina Blazen chuckled.

-Oh, ma’am! T’s not that bad! People, they need to be taken care of. ‘s what we do. »

-I wouldn’t have the patience. » Severus replied. And sure enough, he didn’t lie.

-The job’s got its perks. It’s rewarding, when you do this right. »

-Oh, please. This is a litteral germ factory. Not mentionning the occasional curses, I’m guessing most of them basic. »

-I’m gonna pretend you didn’t just say that, ma’am. » the woman replied with an amused half smile.

-Let me guess : you’re senior, here. »

-That’s right. Regina. Blazen. You are? » The woman stretched out a sweaty hand. Severus shook it.

-Call me Petunia. »

-So. Missis Blazen. As a senior healer, I suppose you’re burdened with the task of… Tutoring? » he wanted to get her to talk about Suneko to make his point, of course. And she noticed. He hadn’t been that subtle.

-Oh, I see you want to talk about the Niece. » she chuckled.

-Yes, ‘s a matter of fact, she does work here… For some reason. » she was puckering her nose, as she was saying this.

-You don’t seem to like her much. » he noticed inocently.

-Oh,that one. She’s a strange girl, I’m tellin’ ya. I wouldn’t believe a word they say about her, if I were you. These four lives she presumably saved, after miraculously appearing from Li. Sounds like lies, to me. This couple and this joke shop person were just lucky. And have you heard about Severus Snape? No? That’s because he must be dead, somewhere. » she sniffed with contempt. That made Severus smirk. Dead indeed

-The things people will say… » she went on rolling her eyes.

-There’s been whole articles about that black clad freak being a romantic spy, longing after some dead mudblood. Harry Potter’s own dead mum, would you believe that nonesense? » Severus kept a blank face, while clenching his fists. Would hexing be enough? he thought to himself. This one might well deserve a downright curse. But he kept quiet.

-And now, we’re supposed to believe that stuck up young girl is some genious healer come to save us all. Come on, is she, though? Or did she just run about spreading fables to big herself up? And they say she’s filthy rich, too. I mean : why’s she obsessed about playing healers, instead of spending her money, somewhere? Like mind her own business? Why’s she making everyone waste their time? I mean : shoo, girl, grown ups are working, here! » »

-Would you rather she were a dark witch, then? » Severus wondered. Regina Blazen’s rant had just been cut short by this simple question.

-I’m sure she would show some skills. It’s in her blood, after all. What do you think? » The woman’s face froze, in a puzzled pout, then lit up, as she doned that pinched smile again :

-Oh, you! You had me, there! You’re on Santa’s naughty list, I’m sure! »

-You’ve no idea. »

Severus had drawn his wand out of his pocket. Still looking at the woman’s eyes, he pointed it at her throat, and threw in the most vicious slug vomiting charm he could. It was not as satisfying as a proper curse, but curses took a toll on you, and Regina Blazen wasn’t worth the energy. So, this one would do. The woman collapsed with a delightful expression of pain, and shock, and horror, as she started to expell the slimy things out of her throat.

« You’re not pretty enough to be that stupid. » he grinned.

-You would think someone as rich as Aethelind Gaunt would have friends, now, wouldn’t you? »

When she could stand back up, he depulsoed the woman unto the door, and half stupefied her to look into her mind for further information. How far had she dared go?

The legilimens spell penetrated the woman’s mind in a way probably nothing else ever would. Flashes of her life appeared to Severus, as she was trying to get herself free from his grasp. Boring. Boring. Boring. Severus was so unimpressed. She was far from the employee of the year herself, and was regularly scolded by her superiors, so, she liked to take it out on the interns. She deeply disliked Suneko, because she was obviously gifted, and not as meek as she wished. She had stupidly decided to take her silence as a sign of weakness. She had tried to get her to break down, demean her, disrespect her, gossip about her, yell at her, sabotage her, unsuccessfully. She was trying to be dreaded by being controlling, and petty, and mean, and she was failing. Pathetic.

And then, of course, there was her way to treat her patients. She was all smiles and compliance when her superiors where in the vicinity. But she thought she was in her little kingdom, when she was alone with one of her charges. She chose which she would care for, which she would brutalize or purposefully neglect. She selected her least favorite interns for the unsavory aspects of the job.

But there was more. Something she was trying to hide. And failing. Again. What was she doing to this couple? Their faces rang a bell… That memory, here… Whatever she was doing in it, did not look like standard procedure. First of all, because sweets were not customary food served in healing premices. Second of all, what was she injecting in them? And what was in the lady’s eye as she was more or less forcibly fed? Defiance? Dread? Severus recoiled, as recognition hit him, and turned his guts : this couple were Frank and Alice Longbottom, slender, and weak, and about a century older. Who had she been poisonning them for? Who? Someone was getting her bribed. Who was it?

And here stood Regina Blazen, breathless, shook by the intrusion. She was worth a curse, after all, he decided. He spat at her face, as she collapsed, screaming.

« What you did. Don’t you think I’ll be the only one to know. » he growled. And as he depulsoed her once again to the door, he added :

-Envy is a sickness. Get well soon »

And apparated.


He was walking on the dark alley leading to his home, thinking. He would definately tell Suneko about the events of the evening. That filth who described herself as a healer dared to threaten his friend for a mere borrowing of books from the ministry, while she was plainly ill treating her patients, poisoning them for… Who was behind this? He hadn’t quite managed to aprehend? One of his former death eater comrades, probably. Someone clearly had to tell that woman off to the ministry. He was sure Suneko would be delighted to do it. What was even in the potion she injected inside those sweets? Severus, of course, had a few ideas. But they would need to be studied.

He was so annoyed. He reached the door, and slamed it open.

« You look furious. Did you kill her? » she asked, raising an eyebrow.

-No. It wouldn’t be worth being sent to Askhaban for the likes of her. But I have information that might be of interest to you, dear, should she dare trying to threaten you again. »

-What did you do to her? »

-Oh, nothing much. A little hex here or there. And a legilimens spell, mostly. »

-And what did you see? »

-You would know if you weren’t shielding yourself. »

-I know. » she sighed.

-But all that chit chat in people’s heads gives me head aches. I would rather not have to unshield in public. You know this, silly head. What did you see? »

-Well… She’s terrible at her job, and generally detestable. »

-Goes without saying. »

-Have you… Ever tended to Frank and Alice Longbottom? »

-Had to bathe them once or twice. Poor things… » Thinking about the couple seemed to make her sad.

-Have you ever seen her give them sweets? »

-Sweets? Hell, no! In their state? They might swallow them all wrong, or something. And so unhealthy, too. No one in their right mind would give quasi catatonic patients sweets. »

-She does. And she’s injecting some potion in them. I saw it. » Suneko froze in shock.

-What potion? »

-I’ve no idea. »

-Sounds like poisoning. »

-Looked like it to me. »

-But they’re our patients… »

-Indeed. »

-It’s unprofessional! »

-To say the least. »

-What for?! »

-Someone is paying her, I think. » Suneko sobered up, cold, terrible, all of a sudden.

-Who? »

-Couldn’t see. » Suneko was outraged. More outraged about it than about the threats and petty bullying she’d had to deal with, Severus noticed.

-I’ll find out. » She said quietly, red hot anger glowing off her like forged steel.

-She’s going down. Trust me. »


Suneko was marching, determined, towards the stern, grey building. Severus had decided to follow her to make sure she would not kill anyone. She deserved better than Askhaban. He also had convinced her to call the auror department as well as Frank and Alice Longbottom’s son, who was directly concerned. At long last, she had agreed. The more witnesses, the safer.

Unfortunatly, mister Potter of the auror department and young professor Longbottom (now, apparently) had decided to take their time, and his seething, hissing friend was walking back and forth, restless, in front of the building. Severus decided to start a conversation to keep her busy.

« We should, hum… Travel, when I’ve delt with your coffers, I think. » he started tentatively.

-What for? » she snapped.

-When you’ve succeded in your HILDA exams, we should go around the world, to meet the best healers, and complete your apprenticeship. »

-You want to heal my so called ‘curse’. » She looked at him up and down warily. You want to heal my so called ‘curse’. » She looked at him up and down warily. And sure enough, Severus had had the safety of the humanity of his friend in mind, lately, indeed. He had to improvise.

-Of course not. » he replied.

-But as you happen to borrow books from the ministry illegally to complete your education, it seems the Healing Institute is frustrating you, isn’t it? »

-That’s because I don’t need those stupid exams. I know my job, already. »

-I know you’ve received training back in Li, of course. Hence the frusration. But your lovely collegue would have had nothing to threaten you with, if you hadn’t been at least a little curious, would she? What if you deserved better than whatever the Healing Institute had to offer? What if you could afford it? When I manage to unlock your coffers, you’ll acquire all the books in the world, if it takes your fancy. You’ll meet the best mentors. And become the best in your field. » And possibly you’ll also deal with your curse, in the process. Severus thought without saying it.

-And you would meet the best Defense Against the Dark Arts practitionners, too. » she mused, interested.

-You get my drift. » Indeed. He hadn’t thought about it, but as a matter of fact, becoming a better Defense Against the Dark Arts practitionner himself would also probably be helpful. After all, nothing wrong with doing a little research. And selfishly speaking, nothing wrong with meeting his own heros, if he could, one day, either.

-What about my apothecary? And your shop? » she frowned.

-We’d hire competent employees to handle them while we’re away. They would report to us, and reach out to us, if need be. We’ll need to delegate anyway, if we want to grow big. » Suneko sniffed. She didn’t like the idea. But this conversation had hijacked some of her murderous energy.

« Are you sure about this? » She said. Severus nodded. She was talking, of course, about Regina Blazen’s guilt.

-In her head. I’ve seen it. » Suneko hissed.

-She’ll need to have serious justifications. »

-What justifications? Don’t enter a battle of wits with an unarmed opponent. »

Sudenly, a whoosh sound was heard, followed by a worried and angry :

« What happened to my parents? »

-Mister Longbottom. » Another whooshing sound.

-Snape. »

-Potter. »

-What did happen to Neville’s parents? » frowned The-Boy-Who-Was-Always-Tense.

-Potter. Meet Aethelind Gaunt, whom you may also call Suneko. » Severus looked at her for confirmation.

-I would much rather, actually. » Suneko confirmed.

-Hello. » Harry Potter looked at her up and down.

-You must be the Niece. »

-Boy-Who-Lived. » Suneko replied mockingly.

-What did she do? » the boy asked.

-She works here. » Suneko snapped.

-Oh, don’t we all just get along, when we start off by being rude? » Severus interviened.

-What have you been up to? » Harry Potter snapped at him in return.

-Ron says you’re working at their shop, now. You didn’t bother to give anyone any news. »

-Like I owed anything to you. » Severus mumbled. Potter crossed his arms.

-We thought you were DEAD. »

-Well… EXCUSE me for having been bitten by a giant snake. And how are YOU even alive, by the way? I’m not the one who comes running after danger wands first EVERY TIME. Am I? » Suneko looked at them, back and forth, with an intrigued frown on her face.

-Are you two related? »

-NO! » They both instantly yelled in a perfect chorus. Suneko threw up her hands :

-Okay… » Neville Longbottom cleared his throat :

-What. Happened. To my parents? »

-We believe they were poisonned. » Suneko replied bluntly. Neville Longbottom’s jaw dropped. His face lost all colour.

-How are they? » Harry Potter asked, his expression now fully collected and professional.

-We believe they have actually been regularly poisonned for more than two decades, since their arrival at saint Mungo’s. » Severus replied. Suneko looked down in shame.

-The trauma they’ve kept from their agression should not have left them in that state. They should at least have made some progress, since they’ve been in the hospital’s care. I should have known something was wrong when I visited them. »

-Who did it? » Neville Longbottom’s voice was white, and sharp, and cold as steel. He’s matured up quite a bit since the last time I saw him, Snape noticed, a little intimidated.

-We can find proof. That’s why you’re here. » Suneko breathed in, out and instructed :

-OK, everyone, please keep quiet. »

Harry Potter and Neville Longbottom looked at each other with puzzled faces. They could understand she was trying to do something, but the aim of this long silence was unclear. At long last, she winced a little, opened her eyes again, and said :

« Got her. Second floor, Daisy room. » she held her hands:

-I can apparate you there. » Harry Potter frowned :

-How exactly did you locate her? »

-It’s called legilimancy, Potter. » scoffed Severus, trying not to appear too impressed by the strengh of his friend.

-Keep up. »

The Daisy room was all white and yellow, with cheerful, sparkling undertones. It contained a dozen beds, in which patients were softly moaning in pain. It had a strange, acrid smell.

« Dragon burns. » Suneko explained.

Regina Blazen was tending to a patient in the far right corner of the room. She was wearing Saint Mungo’s customary green robes and was turning their back at them, but her figure was unmistakable. She turned around as soon as she heard Suneko’s comment, looked at her up and down, and snapped :

« Gaunt. What’s wrong with you? You’re late, you’re not wearing your uniform, and you brought visitors in the Daisy room? They’re not s’posed to be here, you know that. » her eyes then rested on Neville Longbottom :

-Oh, morning mister Longbottom. ‘s not your usual visit time. I’m not sure your parents are ready, yet. Have you asked the reception? No? You should have. Or I reckon she should have, instead of bringing you to a restricted area.. ‘s not professional, that, Gaunt. » she added showing Suneko with her chin.

-And she brought quite a crowd in here, too. I see you came along, this time, mister Potter. How kind. Forgive my intern. ‘s not the right room, now, clever girl. And who’s this one?  » she frowned at Severus.

-He looks a bit like… »

-Severus Snape, back from the dead. Morning to you too, ma’am. » he answered. Severus held his hand, and she shook it, somewhat taken aback. Since they were all staring at her, she started shifting uneasily.

-What can I do for you? » she asked.

-If you don’t mind, we would love you to bring us to mister Longbottom’s parents. Now. » explained Severus. She looked at them suspiciously :

-I’m tending to dragon burned patients, at the moment. But I’m sure the reception could help you find your way to the right room, if our little genious can’t. »

-Won’t take long. »

-What’s the rush? » Harry potter had casually drawn out his wand, and was waving it absent mindedly tip down :

-Humour us. » She turned to Suneko angrily, then thought better of it, and tried to sound collected :

-You didn’t need me to help them out, Gaunt. Or are we in a lazy mood this morning? Asking the reception about the Longbottoms and bringing those gentlemen to them was pretty basic work. Besides, you’re s’posed to… » Suneko hissed, and spat :

-Oh, shut up. » Regina Blazen blanched a little. She stuttered :

-I’m your superior. I will tell you off for your attitude this morning. »

-I’m not impressed. Now, get us there, already. »

Frank and Alice Longbottom were being bathed by one of the interns when the group appeared in their common bedroom in the closed isle.

« I told you now was probably not a good time. » the nervous woman snapped at Suneko.

-Leave. » Suneko simply told the other interns. She sounded so cold and directive that they obeyed immediately.

-Well… Here they are. Same as usual. Except, naked. » Regina Blazen said. She tried to apparate away herself, but Severus stupefied her.

-Nice try, miss Blazen. » he purred, as she fell. He lifted her up to put her in an upright position. He looked at Suneko who was producing a pensieve from a shoulder bag.

-Will you do the honours? » he suggested.

Suneko took out her wand, and partially unstupefied the woman, whose eyes grew wide with panic, as she realized her situation. Suneko sighed with a bored little expression :

« It’s going to be easy. » she said.

-She’s loud. »

She brought the pensieve to the nearby bed, and almost stuck her wand to the woman’s face. Regina Blazen grunted. Liquid light spilled from Suneko’s wand. She poured it in a tube that she had levitated out of her pocket, and approached the bed.

-Mister Longbottom, you might want to be the first to see what miss Blazen did to your parents. » she said.

Neville Longbottom was the first to put his head in the stone basin. It did feel a bit strange, standing next to him, waiting for him to return, but Severus knew exactly what he would see. He could picture the boy’s anger in advance, and he felt sorry for him.

« What does he see, do you think? » Harry Potter asked him.

-His parents being poisonned. She injects a potion in sweets that she’s making them eat. That’s why their health hasn’t been improving, we think. »

-So, you really think that they could get back to being themselves, some day? »

-Ask a healer. » sighed Severus. He thought not.

-They will never quite recover. » confirmed Suneko.

-They will always be more or less dependant. They will be burdened by nightmares, and their magic will be forever maimed. But… I believe they will at least be able to recognize their own son. I believe some of their older self should come back to the surface. I will see to it, at least. » she added with a determined expression. She groaned in frustration.

-I should have known. » she scolded herself.

-Of course, they did go through terrible pain, and trauma, but their state was not normal. I should have guessed. I didn’t pay enough attention »

-What potion was it, and what did it od to them, exactly ? »

-We’re unsure. » answered Severus.

-We would need samples to analyse it, so as to make sure we find the right cure. But the certain thing is that it stuck them into this catatonic state. I also believe that miss Blazen, here was working for someone else. Though I am not quite sure for whom, yet. »

-Let’s make sure we find out. » Suneko said. And her voice was icy cold, and cutting like goblin steel.

Severus didn’t quite like the tone of her voice. It didn’t seem to be merely reflecting a hope to find the culprits. It rather sounded like a threat, followed by a determination to find them herself.

« We will. » Potter just replied. And find them quickly. Severus thought.

When Neville Longbottom retrieved his head from the pensieve, he was flushed, and mute and trembling with rage.

« I’ll go in there myself. » Potter informed the woman with a cold but quiet professional tone.

-Just to see the evidence presently at my disposal. And then, I think we’ll be on our way. »

-Wait! » said the woman. But Potter turned to Longbottom.

-We’ll find out who she did it for, and then, trust me, she’ll pay a little visit to Askhaban. »

-She fasified it! » said the panicking woman who had regained the ability to speak.

-Even if the facts disagree, I am impressed by your confidence. » smirked Severus.

-This… This evidence is all fake! That… That cursed foreign scum!… »

Severus frowned as the woman started to gurgle. Suneko’s arm was extended, and her hand was tense, launching a vicious strangling spell. Her eyes were changing colour.

« You’re a healer. This is not what you do. » he reminded his friend, as she hissed.

-We will punish her. » added Potter with a sensible tone, drawing his wand from his pocket.

-Come, Suneko. » Severus went on. His friend grunted in frustration, and released her collegue.

-Just you dare lying again. » she warned her.

They all sighed with relief.

« Don’t waste your time pursuing the likes of her. » Severus said soothingly.

-You’ve got work to do. Remember? »

Frank and Alice Longbottom had both been covered by a bath towel, but they were still starting to quietly tremble with cold, in the background. Suneko turned to them, accioed fresh clothes from a drawer, and said in a surprisingly soothing voice :

« We will dress you up, now. Alright? You need to look nice for your son, who came to visit you. Let’s get these pants on, first, mister Longbottom, shall we? » Then, she showed the frozen Regina Blazen with her chin, and instructed their son coldly :

-Make sure she doesn’t go away. » And called out disdainfully to Harry Potter.

-You can check the evidence, Boy-Who-Lived. I’m not going to kill her. » After which, she turned back to Neville Longbottom :

-When I get samples of the potion, I’ll be able to define an efficient recovery strategy. I’m pretty sure I know how I’ll proceed to get them. »

Harry Potter had been diving his head in the pensieve. It took him only a few minutes to get back from it.

« As far as I’m concerned, I’ve got all the proof I need. » he commented with a steely glint in his crazy green eyes.

-You’re under arrest, miss Blazen. »

He launched an incarcerus spell on the struggling woman, put a hand on her shoulder, and apparated away.

Suneko was halway through helping missis Longbottom to put on her dress, when she muttered in a forcibly light tone :

« Do you know, your son is very brave? He killed my grandmother, a few years ago. It was the only way to free her from a terrible curse. I’ll be forever grateful. Her name was Nagini. »

A heavy silence fell on the room, as a hint of recognition sank into the face of the sick woman, uncertainty, suspicion, confusion, blurry dread. Her husband let out a painful moan. Suneko turned to Neville Longbottom, and observed matter-of-factly :

« Your parents are strong. »

-I know. » he answered with a little trembling in his voice.

And the boy looked strong, just then. He looked like the proudest man in the world. Arrogance is a weakness, but pride is strengh, thought Severus to himself.

« I have to get changed and officially start my shift. » Suneko said.

-I’ll be right back, mister Longbottom. Severus, I believe I have an authorization to sign, for you to inspect those coffers, yes? » Severus nodded.

-And you did take your day off? » He nodded again.

-Then, wait. » she concluded as she whooshed away.

There was an awkward little silence for a good few excruciating minutes. Severus really didn’t know what to say. He hadn’t seen Neville Longbottom in ages. He hadn’t been that fond of him, back in Hogwarts, and vice versa, as far as he was aware. Also, his parents were humming to themselves, in the background. It was bunglesome. Severus felt quite out of place. What to say, what to say… Finally…

« What do you intend to do, then? » the boy muttered, as if to himself.

-About? » That was a very vague question.

-About her. » the boy was embarrassed to ask.

-She’s Nagini’s grand daughter. They say that she’s also… »

-Oh, do you mean : about the young woman who saved my life, among others? The one who just helped prevent your parents from ingesting more poison? The one who intends to help them heal? That young woman? » The silence that followed was a little uncomfortable. The boy coughed.

-They say she can also turn into snake. And… Nagini… You’ve seen her… And… » Severus showed his neck, and snapped :

-Yes, I have. Close enough. » the boy gasped. Severus sighed.

-She’s not Nagini. She’s my friend. She saved my life. What can you not understand? »

-But she won’t be able to stay under control forever. »

-What do you know about her abilities? She’s powerful, she’s brilliant, you’ve seen it. She’s ambitious. She intends to set up an apothecary. Not just any apothecary. The best in England. In the world, possibly. And she’s hard working. And she’s curious. And she’s rich. Rich enough to go around the world and meet the best healers there is. And she will. Rich enough to get proper tutelage. And she will. Do you know anything much about maledicti? Well… We will. We’ll get advice from people a little more knowledgeable than yourself, thank you very much. » Severus couldn’t believe how annoyed he was.

-You intend to find a way to heal her. »

-No. » And Severus was surprised about the sound of his own voice.

-I don’t want to heal her. I don’t want her to be a proper little human. She’s a ware snake. It’s what she is. She was born that way. It’s in her nature. I want her to have the means to do what she want to do, that is : be a healer. I want her to choose how and when she wants or doesn’t want to turn. I want her to maintain herself, for as long as she can, in order to build up the success that she deserves. Get the respect that she deserves. And I don’t want anyone to dare looking at her like a monster. »

-I… Hope she’ll manage. » Longbottom let out tentatively.

-Of course, she will. Obviously. »

There was something about pride. You could be proud without being vain. You could be proud, and be grounded. Pride was what you needed to keep, in order to avoid people from crushing you down to oblivion. Pride was what the Dark Lord had taken to all of these great families. One by one. After having attracted them with it. Pride was what had maintained him alive, what had helped him protect his own sanity, in the midst of all of this cruelty and pain. Pride was a shield. Pride was essential to anyone’s mental health. And most importantly : pride made you particularly strong when you were proud of someone else.

New job

That horrible facade was supposed to look humorous. One had to admit they had managed to make their shop visible. A huge, monstrous version of the red headed twins was putting its hat on and off with a terrible grin.

And this is supposed to be a place for children…  he tought with a shrug.

I wonder how come none of them is crying.

He smirked, then went in. The place was like the brats he had known at Hogwarts. Colorful. Messy, but nonetheless full of interesting things. They hadn’t been fairing too bad, actually.

« Welcome to Weasley’s. » said a familiar voice.

« What can I do for y…? »

George, the one with the scarred ear. The boy, of course, had just recognized him.

« I need a job. » He just said bluntly.

« Nice shop. » He added to sound a little more diplomatic.

George Weasley threw an amused smile:

« I’m glad you noticed. Though if you need a job, i would expect at least a superlative. »

« With a little help, it would surely end up deserving one. But it’s alright, of course. » He mused looking around interested.

« Oh, really?!  » laughed the boy.

« Nice to see you doing well, by the way. Good morning. »

Severus held his hand. The boy shook it. Even now, it was still strange to see him all grown up. He couldn’t help remembering the reckless teenager who had driven every Hogwarts professor crazy.

« And you came here to save my business. » The boy smirked.

« Would I have bothered to come in, if it had needed saving? Its got a proper reputation, of course. Though I heard there was room for improvement. »

« How so? » The boy, still smiling, looked at him up and down.

« I heard your love potions were pretty terrible. » Severus pointed.

« They’re part of our best sellers. » The boy crossed his arms.

« I’ve heard from people who know better than your clients. »

The boy’s smile froze. His eyes rolled, and then, he schrugged.

« I bet you’re interested in our Defense Against the Dark Arts section. Over here. »

He led him to the back of the shop, where more sober looking shelves had been set. He tapped on the shoulder of one of the employees. Tall, lean, red haired, that figure looked quite familiar.

-Blimey! If it isn’t Snape! » Gasped Ron Weasley.

-And good morning to you too, mister Weasley. »

-You might as well be a ghost. We weren’t sure you had even survived. You had disappeared. »

-Oh, did you need me for something? I had… You know… Lost the track of time, recovering from this. » he snapped in frustration, showing his scar. The boy’s eyes widened.

-That’s the trace of Nagini’s bite? » He was right to be impressed. The scar was ugly.

-Does it look like a hickey? » The boy frowned.

-Oh, I can see you didn’t lose your bubbly personality. What can I do for you? »

-I… Was hoping to get a job, actually. »

-Because Hogwarts didn’t want you? »

-Because I decided to apply here. » Severus avoided saying that he would not spend another decade in that school, in a million years.

-You’re interested in our Defense Against the Dark Arts section, of course. »

-What brilliant deduction skills. » The boy let out an annoying little chuckle.

-We’ll see what my brother says. Given he didn’t kick you out, already, we might try you. You’re on inventory duty tonight, if we do. Go on,and tidy that shelf, over there, now, will you? » The boy patted him on the back. Then, he leaned casually on the wall, and mused :

« Merlin’s bloody balls, Severus bloody Snape… I’ll have to tell Harry, that’s for sure. »

Severus really wanted to hex him. He didn’t like receiving orders from one of those gryffindor brats. But he would have to swallow his pride. For now.

« You’re taking ages. » Ronald Weasley felt smart enough to notice.

-I’m familiarizing myself with the products. I am new, here, after all. » Severus argued.

-Just make quick notes about what you see on the shelves. You don’t need to write a novel about everything. » Severus sighed, and just kept going.

-No need to go through those shelves, they’re done, already. » the boy went on some time later.

-I’m familiarizing myself with the products, as I said. » snapped Severus.

-We’re never going to get out of the shop, now, are we? »

-Suit yourself, mister Weasley. » Severus retorted with an ironic little bow.

-Not a chance, Snape. No way am I going to let you alone in the shop on your first day. »

-Then we’ll all need to have a little patience, now, won’t we? »

Severus grabbed a box of puking pastilles, and opened it to observe one of the candy shaped atrocities. He had just decided to work even wore slowly.

« Oh, come ON! » growled Ron Wealsey in despair, which made Severus smile. He did have a point to make, and he intended to make it. So, he was going to make sure there was the exact right number of pastilles in that box, right now.

A good while later, Ron Weasley had finally decided to throw up his hands, and prepare himself some tea. There was about a good dozen minutes of blessed silence, with just the noise of objects being moved around, and quill running on paper. It was sweet. It felt like those moments, back then, when he had a child in detention. Severus had hated children in a group. In classes, in corridors. They were bold, and cheeky, and scattered brained. One at a time, in his office, he had liked them a little better. Embarassed silence was the best, he reflected. But Ron Weasley was Ron Weasley.

« She’s the one who healed you, isn’t she? » he said conversationally. Severus stopped for a second.

-Who? »

-The Niece. Everything went so fast, that night. I didn’t see any of it. But they say she’s the one who helped Remus and Tonks. Lucky she turned up, isn’t it? And… I mean… We almost lost Fred, so. » Ron sniffed. He looked haunted.

-They say she works at Saint Mungo’s, now. No one knows where she lives. »

-At my house. » Severus informed him.

-You live with the Niece? »

-She needed a place without a rent. She saved my life. She’s lovely. »

-Did you know she’s the heir of… »

-Oh, thanks for informing me! »

-I mean : you haven’t seen her bloodline, apparently. »

-Let me guess : she’s the heir of Salazar Slytherin. What a surprise. Mindblowing. »

-I mean : she’s the grand daughter of Nagini. » Severus’s heart skipped a beat.

-Oh. » he just said.

-Yes, oh. I’m guessing you’ve never seen her turn, or anything. You should be careful, though. She might be like… Like her grandmother. »

-Maybe. » Severus admitted flatly.

-That’s all you have to say? Maybe? You should at least tell her to find another place to live, or move out yourself, for your safety! » scoffed Ronald.

-I don’t think so. » Severus knew he would need more than a disturbing piece of information to break his loyalty.

-Do you not like life? At all? »

-I don’t know. You’re the one who went after a basilisk with your best friend when you were twelve. You tell me. »

A good while later, the door burst open to a frowning George Weasley :

« What’s taking you so long? » he demanded.

-Ask Snape. » his brother schrugged.

-I’m not sure he’s done counting the puking pastilles, yet. »

-I was… »

-Familiarizing himself with the products, he says. »

-Do you need to stay the night? Should I get you a mattress? And what’s this thing about the pastilles? What’s so fascinating about them? » Severus sighed, and answered with an unapologetic half smile.

-Your brother was annoying me, so I was taking my time. »

-He was writing a novel, too. Over here. » Ronald pointed to a little black notebook floating with a quill, in a corner. Severus wanted to accio it for safety, but George Weasley intercepted it first. It annoyed Severus greatly.

-Taking some notes aside the inventory book, are we? » George said as he caught it. He started going through the thin lines of Severus’s caracteristicly tight writing.

-That’s interesting. » he mumbled.

He walked towards Severus and stopped next to him. Severus expected some unpleasant joke or some otherwise disagreeable comment, and he was pouting accordingly, but the boy just looked at him very seriously, and pointed at some of the random ideas on his untidy little list.

« That’s filthy. But I like this idea, here. Do you think it could be done? »

-I don’t know. I was just… Noting random ideas. I would need to think things through more carefully, if I wanted to find… Ways to reach that result safely. »

-I like your way of thinking. This stuff could be useful. You should come to the Burrow with your notebook, some time. I’m sure Fred would like to see it… It’s all Defense Against the Dark Art stuff, isn’t it? »

-Obviously. It’s my domain of expertise. »

-One more creative mind won’t be too much. Trust me. This is a joke shop, though. But I bet you’ll get the spirit. » The boy patted him on the back. The gesture was a bit too familiar, but Severus was pleasantly surprised by his reaction. Apparently, he would be allowed to make suggestions.

-Are you done, now? »

-Quite so, mister Weasley. »

-It’s George. Please. It’s a family business. »

And to think the twins managed to build all of this without having completed their education… Severus thought. It had been so annoying to see them leave Hogwarts. What a waste of potential. And he was so annoyed that they hadn’t been in slytherin. He dared hope that at least, Granger had ended up showing a bit of ambition.


It was night time already. Severus walked thoughtfully down the main lane of his good old neighbourhood, thinking about his impressions on his first day. And about quite a heavy piece of information he had received. Merlin knew he was stubbornly principled about his loyalties, but he was potentially living with a maledictus, and what could he make of this?

First, he would have to make sure she had not been born with the curse. He did hope the boys were wrong, but apparently, she was the grand daughter of the terrible snake woman he had come to know in her monstrous shape, and dread. And unfortunately, he also knew this malediction was passed on from mother to daughter. But he could hope, perhaps… Or perhaps, he was just fooling himself. The idea was most unpleasant, of course, and he was not exactly in a hurry to reach home and bring it up. And what if she was stricken? What could he do? Thoughts turned and turned in his brain, as he tried to imagine the conversation. He would have to be diplomatic, and avoid over reacting, of course. Perhaps, he would have to find a way to be safe. But how? Showing the door to the young woman who had saved his life for no valid reason was obviously out of the question. And leaving his own home felt a little… So, what? Or perhaps, those considerations could wait. He hadn’t noticed anything suspicious, after all. Whatever he dared hope she did not have, she seemed to have it together.

His mind had been racing so fast, he was almost surprised to stumble upon his own doorstep. Well. He would have to see her, now. He would have to stay calm. His heart was bumping a little too loud. Not a good start. He leaned on the door, and took a few deep breaths, before crossing the threashold.

A hissing wildling of a girl stood before him with eyes grown huge with worry :

« Where have you been? Are you alright? Did anything happen? »

-No. I’m alright. I was on inventory duty at Weasley’s » Severus replied quickly. She sighed with relief.

-I’m glad they hired you. But I was worried sick. You should have warned me. »

-Sorry about that, dear. How was your day? Sit down. Let’s have some tea. »

She nodded, and sat down. Severus was about to accio a kettle, and make the water boil, when, much to his surprise, it appeared all by itself, along with two cups, and dessert plates filled with scones.

« I signed the papers, today. » she informed him.

-For the coffers. Now, I’m officially supposed to go by that stupid name, Aethelind Gaunt. And, hum… This. Things have been appearing, since this morning. »

-Some elf, or elves, I’m guessing. If they belonged to your uncle, they must be terrified. Which would explain their being invisible. You could order them to show themselves, if it makes you feel more comfortable. »

-If they’re so shy, I’d rather they didn’t. » she bit into a scone.

-Practical. » Severus observed. He hesitated.

-So… How does it feel to bear your real name? » he inquired

-My real name is Suneko. It’s the only name I want to go by. It was given to me by Madam, and by my real father, the one who taught me everything I know. »

-Have you ever met your… Father by blood? »

-No. And I couldn’t care less about my progenitor. » She snapped, icily. She had never told him anything about her past. Suneko was a woman of a few words. Severus had never asked.

-So, you were brought up in an orphanage. »

-In a brothel. » Severus almost spilled his tea.

-And your… Mother? » he hardly dared asking. The young woman dropped her gaze.

-Needless to say, she was one of the courtesans. She’s dead, now. »

-And, you… »

-Madam wanted to me to. I ran at eight years old. That’s when my father took me in, and taught me everything he knew. » »

-I see… How… Did your mother die, if you don’t mind me asking? » She threw him a dark, sharp look :

-So, you know, don’t you? » It was time to rip the band aid off, since she had guessed :

-Are you…? » His heart sank when she sighed, and nodded. He took a deep breath, and simply let out :

-Fair enough. »

Oh, Merlin… And now, what to do? Don’t insist, he thought to himself. Don’t over react. She obviously doesn’t want anyone’s dread, let alone anyone’s pity. Keep neutral. Keep neutral. He reflected that perhaps, changing subjects would be helpful, at the moment.

« Well… Good thing you signed the papers. With your permission, I’ll soon have to peek into those coffers. And… How was work? » Her lowered gaze and tired, closed face said it all.

-I see. Looks like you had the best day ever. »

-Yeah… Just my luck. »

-What happened? »

-Remember the book I got you? »

-Junksher’s? Yes, of course. It was the best read, thank you. »

-Well… I did it again. I borrowed books specialized in my craft, of course… »

-Did you get caught? »

-My… Collegue, Regina Blazen, noticed the title of one of the books I was reading at break time. There was the ministry’s seal on it. And so, she threatened to tell me off. » Suneko let out an exasperated sigh.

-She… What? » Severus was shocked to hear that anyone had dared threaten her.

-She told me that she would inform the ministry, that they would destroy my wand, and that they would send me back to Li. I guess I wasn’t careful enough. »

-Oh, did she, now? » Severus’s anger was building up inside him.

-Hum, hum. » the young healer nodded.

-What business is it of hers, the books you read? »

-My readings are very interesting, apparently. »

-And how did you respond to this? » Suneko rolled her eyes.

-What do you want me to do? I’m the Snake Girl, the Niece, and whatever other name they give me. People are already hushing when I enter a room, taking a step back when they meet me in the corridors. The usual stuff. And I didn’t hurt anyone, mind you. I would never hear the end of it, if I ever dared lifting a finger. » She shook her shoulders in an attempt for indifference, but she sounded hurt. Severus had had his set of agreeable little surnames himself, and knew all too well how it felt to be unpopular. And that ignited his anger. Was it the reason why she had left Li, in the first place? She had never told him.

-You’re right, of course. » he just said.

-Let me hex her for you. »

-I’m not my uncle, you know. And you’re not my hitman. »

-First of all, I was a spy. Not a mere hitman. And second of all, let me rephrase my offer : hexing that murtlap scum would be my pleasure. »

Healing

He was finally getting some freedom of movement, now. He hadn’t managed to move much without a strengh potion for months. It had been infuriating and humiliating, at times, to not have full control over his own body. He had needed her help, even with the potion, in the beginning. The first few weeks, he had cried his heart out, all day, everyday, from the moment she had been out for work until her return. He had cried for everything. His current state. The people he’d lost. His past. Had he ever taken the time to mourn, before almost dying? Unlikely. Then of course, he had dried his tears, whenever he had heard the door open, and she had pretended not to notice his red eyes. It had been helpful, he’d found. The way she had done her job relentlessly, and unemotionally. And progress had shown. At last.

After weeks of frustration and despair, he had ceased weeping and started reading. His mind had needed distraction, refreshing. Now, he clung on the project he’d made to make his healer’s coffers safe. He clung on the hope to be useful to her when he would be ready. And of course, he found motivation in the insane challenge : he would have to outsmart the Dark Lord himself, to go through of all his little traps, and survive them. He would have to be really skilled for that. So, he re-read all of his defense against the dark arts books, and all of his old notebooks, with all of his tricks, and his private spells, conceived out of spite, out of anger, out of fear, when he’d been alone and idle. And he took notes. And he remembered. It was keeping him buisy.

When she was back from work, he observed her. He had to remind himself that she was nothing like her uncle. He clung on the little details : the gap between her teeth, the scars on her delicate hands. He hadn’t asked questions. People generally liked to talk about themselves, if you listened hard enough. She didn’t. But it was informative to see her cook (often overly spicy noodle soups), and care about his progress. It was enough to see her always crushing herbs, and having potions on the stove. Her actions showed how hard she was trying. He had, of course, comments to make about her potions, and she would swear in parselmouth under her breath when she would get annoyed. And she was eating all the time. As tiny as she was. She didn’t like being made fun of, but he couldn’t help it. It did help to observe. To get to know her. It did help to notice how she didn’t seem too egotistical or intimidating. For all that was worth.

He heard the click of the door, and straightened up.

« Good evening. » he called.

« How was your day? »

« Long. » she sighed.

« It’s beginning to be dragon pox season. »

And of course, she was right. It was late. He just hadn’t noticed the time.

She laid her coat on a chair, and casually threw a large and thick black book on his knees. Severus brushed the dusty cover with his thumb. The title was : Diving into the shadows by Karta Junksher himself. He gasped. It was an ancient dark arts classic. It was rare.

« So you don’t get too bored. You seem to like this sort of thing. »

-Where did you get it? »

-I borrowed it from the archives of the ministry. They shouldn’t notice, if I put it back in a few days. »

-How did you get in? » No one was allowed into the archives of the ministry without authorization, in the first place.

-Do I want to know? » he grumbled.

-And you’re welcome. »

After dinner, they walked by the river. The air was soft on the skin. There was a faint smell of dust and mould, in this part of town, but the breeze was fresh enough, once you got used to it. The grass looked pityful on the little alley. But it was quiet. And it was home. It had always been.

« So, you’re stealing from the archives of the ministry, now? » he smirked.

-I didn’t steal. I borrowed. Serves them right for not providing a student proper ressources. »

-You mean : the Healing Institute of London for Dedicated Academics does not have a library? »

-As a matter of fact, it does. A poor excuse of a library it is. I read all there is to read there. I needed more in depth material. It was frustrating. »

-How did you not get caught, though? » he was genuinely interested. She dismissed him with an embarrassed, vague gesture, unwilling to talk about it.

-Do you want me to bring that book back, now, then. »

-No, no. By all means. I’ve been wanting to look into that book for ages. I’m not the one who took the risks. And what if I don’t want to hand it back at all? » he added playfully. She shoved him gently.

-I don’t think so. You’re not doing this to me. »

He was walking with a cane, now. She was hardly helping. No potion, either. He was pleased with the progress he’d made. Soon, he would be able to work again. It wasn’t like he rejoiced having to look for a job, after years of convalescence, but he was frustrated with his life at the moment. And he was getting restless. It was not exactly funny to be stuck in Spinner’s End. He wasn’t a social person, much. He was not a fan of crowds, or noise, or bright lights, or the outer world in general. But he did feel that he needed to put himself in motion. He was not going to spend the rest of his days in idleness and isolation.

« You’re doing well. » she mused.

« You’ll be back to work in no time. » It was like she had been reading his mind. He checked his inner defenses. She had, possibly.

-Yes, I will. » he replied. Though, what work, he had no idea.

-Do you miss Hogwarts? » she inquired.

Not really, he realized. He had been teaching for decades, and he hadn’t been that fond of the job, to be honest : the agreeable moments when he had felt useful had been scarce. Most of his career had been about worrying for the boldest daredevils, getting frustrated about the overall immature laziness, getting annoyed at the insolent ones. Sleepless nights running after whoever was in the mood for mischief. And running errands for Dumbledore, once in a while. And reading miles and miles of boring scrolls full of basic mistakes, and grammatical errors. And the constant hubbub. No. The last thing he wanted, at this point, was to be surrounded by children. Let alone live with them. But then, what could he do, now?

« You don’t. » that wasn’t a question. And she was right.

-So, you won’t be teaching anymore? »

-I might apply down Diagon Alley. » he improvised.

-They might be hiring there. »

-As a former potion master, I’m sure you could find a place at Slug and Jiggers Apothecary. Or perhaps, at that joke shop, the Weasley Wizards Weezes. »

-Why would I work in a joke shop? » Not in a million years.

-I hear they have a Defense Against the Dark Arts section. They might appreciate your expertise. »

-In a joke shop? Why would they sell Defense Against the Dark Arts devices in a joke shop? That makes no sense! » he exclaimed. But he was intrigued by the information.

-And who would they sell their devices to? Children? I dare hope not! »

-Probably to aurors. »

-Aurors would get their working tools from a joke shop. »

-Apparently. »

-Is this even real? »

-The rumor has it. »

This must have been one of their jokes. But he would have to come and see. Silence lended on the scarce patch of grass like cotton.

« Do you still intend to go look into those coffers? » she asked tentatively.

-I do. As promised. » He would. There was no doubt about it.

The air felt a little heavier, now that he had to think about the Dark Lord, again. He had to. He would have no choice. He would have to remember. Think like him, even.

« We might get rich, then. » she concluded levelly.

« Might » was the right word. She surely would be, if he survived the ordeal. There was no guarantee. And even supposing he would manage making her coffers safe, she would certainly end up deciding there was no « we ». He was not hanging on her promise. He wanted to do it because he needed an aim, a challenge. Something to focus on to avoid thinking. So he had decided that he might as well focus on something he had some skill for. It was still better than having no purpose whatsoever. He guessed it was also his little way to posthumously defy the dark Lord.

The sun was looming ever closer to the horizon. He stared at her, while she was looking pensively at the river. Her eyes were a striking midnight indigo blue in the warm, golden sheen of the evening. Her silken hair, bound in two buns and two braids, also had blue reflections. She wore a tattered green kimono. Overall, she looked pretty, like a living doll, petite and fragile, but with a very serious expression that made you look twice, and a sublte, undefinable, wild little something about her. It was her eyes, he thought. She broke the silence.

« I’ve never been rich, you know. »

-Me neither. »

He hadn’t done too badly, though, for one of those « awful boys of Spinners End », though. His job as a professor, had been paid better than what he could have hoped for. Even though, in the end, he had never been granted the « greatness » that had been promised by the Dark Lord. But he had learned to have very simple needs from a very young age. And he had always been more proud than materialistic. And after decades of working as an errand boy for two terrible men, much of that pride had been tamed, anyway.

« What would you do, with the money? » she inquired.

That made him chuckle. It was a silly question, since he would probably never lay a hand on any of it. It was dream talk, wasn’t it? Dreaming was useless, he found. He had only ever dreamed of a future with Lily Evans, and she had always been out of reach. He had lost her altogether, ultimately. And he had dreamed of recognition and respectability, but it had never really happened. Instead, he had been used by some, and distrusted by most. Dreaming was silly. But why not pretend?

« I would settle a Defense Against the Dark Arts Shop right over here. » he smirked, showing one of the biggest buildings in the distance.

« If those Weasley brats could do it, I could certainly do it too. I would sell the auror department proper attire, maybe even help with their training, working as a consultant. And, hum… Let’s see… I would build a music studio over here, a concert room over there, hum… Oh, that would be an art gallery… »

-Hey, that project is too expensive! » she exclaimed. She was looking at him with her arms crossed, and a half smile.

-I would need some of the money! »

-What would you do with it? » She resumed looking dreamily at the lake. Severus listened intently. She would finally say something about herself. Interesting.

-I’m a healer. That’s what I do.  » She smiled.

-You know, back home, in Li, I used to work in my father’s apothecary shop. So, I would just settle my own. I would sell the best potions, and unguents, and powders, and pultrices. And get the best ingredients. Asphodel, belladona, hellebore, mandrake, even my very own bezoars! That would be something! » an extatic smile transfigured her face. She really loved her job. Severus felt his heart pound, a little. She did look sweet, at this moment, under the sunset. She showed the factory.

-That place, over there, would be interesting to get. It’s abandonned, isn’t it? That means I could rebuy it, and reshape it into a proper working place, with spaces for potion making, and ingredient storing, and a shop, and even a bed or two, for patients who would need treatments. That would be perfect. And also, I would need a large patch of cultivable land with good soil. » she added with a determined little nod.

-What for? »

-To grow my plants, of course! Possibly, also to breed a couple of interesting magical creatures. If I’m going to open my own apothecary, I might as well do it right, and make sure I get fresh, healthy ingredients. Do you really think i would rely on external suppliers? I don’t think so! I don’t work like an amateur! » she said this with a disgusted little pout. It was amusing.

-You would do everything yourself? Top to bottom? »

-Obviously! »

-That would be a lot of work. You would need to hire people. And you would have to make people want to go to spinner’s end, if you mean to settle your business here. »

-Probably. It could work. It’s not too far from the city, and it has an eerie kind of beauty…  » she looked thoughtfully at the river.

-You too. For your business, I mean. You would need to attract clients to sell your products and your tutoring. We will need to really work on this place to make people want to walk by it. » We. She seemed serious too, for now. That was sweet.

Good luck with rehabilitating the old place, though, he thought to himself. Instead, he said :

-Guess I’ll need to work through these coffers, first. »

-True. »

Indeed, there was the tiny matter of the Dark lord’s deadly curses on his own gold.

« I’d rather you didn’t get killed, in there. » she muttered.

« Don’t put yourself too much in danger. I took some time healing you. »

He stroke her hair, and thought : If she knew.

Awake

His whole body was acking. That’s how he knew he wasn’t dead. That was unpleasant. He wasn’t relieved. he was worried. Because when death had come, he had been ready; And now, he was alive. And the boy was most certainly gone. And he had failed him. Failed Lily. Failed everything. They’d make him pay, he supposed. They’d make him fit again, just to throw cruciatus curses at his face. They’d know he was a traitor. It was all over. He wouldn’t have to lie anymore at least. And death would claim him. Eventually. Sooner rather than later, if he had any way to fix this. Had the boy fought well? He was dead, wasn t he?

He couldn’t move. He heard himself moan. There was distant footsteps from a nearby room. Oh dear. He hoped it wasn’t Bellatrix. He hoped it wasn’t the dark Lord. His stomach tightened at the thought of him.

« Ah. You’re awake. » said a quiet, raspy voice.

Who was that young lady? Was she a former student? What house was she in? She was quite small. Fresh skin. Pimples. Doll face. An insanely thick, untidy raven mane. Bangs. You could hardly see her eyes, in there. Ageless. Lily’s eyes had been like green sunshine. So warm, and truthful, and refreshing. This one’s were something else. Dark. Deep. She bore them into his, and instinctively, he shielded.

« Hum… The mind doesn’t seem too bad. » she muttered to herself matter-of-factly.

« Quiet, too. That’s polite. Can you speak? »

She didn’t wait for him to respond.

« He needs a strengh potion. » She muttered to herself again.

« I’ll be right back. »

Severus winced. He didn’t like the idea of taking a potion made by such a young witch. The results could be catastrophic. But she wouldn’t give him a choice, now. Would she?

20 minutes later, he was sitting on the bed. Pale, and shaky, and weak, but sitting.

« We’ll get you to walk a bit later. Your muscles need training. Now, maybe, you can speak? »

-The… Boy… » he managed.

-Green eyes, ugly scar, looking like trouble? Yeah, he seemed to be on your mind, alot. I thought you might like this »

She produced a small box from under the bed.

The box was full of news paper articles about The-Boy-Who-lived. Apparently, he had survived. He had become an auror. He had a new girlfriend at least every week, according to miss Skitter.

Severus wanted to laugh and cry. He was flooded with relief. At the same time, he felt empty. He’d been a soldier. A pawn played in a chess board in a game of war. And the players were gone. The dark lord. Dumbledore. Even lily. He no longer had any duty towards any of them. He no longer had anyone to die for. He was back into a life that had been going on without them. How dare it?

« In case you were wondering, you were in a coma for two years. My name is Suneko. You’re in your home, in Spinner’s End. » He hadn’t asked himself the basic questions. He looked at the girl :

« Did you brew this potion yourself? »

-Of course. »

-It’s good. It’s working. » She crossed her arms, and frowned, all outraged :

-Obviously. That’s my job. I’m a healer. I know the basics. »

-Then, why am I not in Saint Mungo’s? » She sighed in frustration :

-Because they would take over as if I were some incompetent dum-dum, and you’re my patient. »

-Let me guess : HILDA student. »

-I’m a licenced healer. I just have to take this exam for administrative purposes. »

-Foreign licence. From where? »

-The country of Li. »

-Why did you come to work in England, then? » She schrugged, and vaguely waved her hand. A tray with a big bowl of soup full of noodles floated right to the bed.

-You need to eat. » she said.

-Then, exercice. You’ll exercice everyday. Gain some muscle. »

That didn’t answer the question.

He heard a faint knocking sound on the window. She opened to an owl, took the message on its paw, and then, sent it off without a word. After which, she depulsoed the message and turned back to him reproachfully :

« Why aren’t you eating? »

-You’re not opening your letter. » he noticed.

-It’s the ministry, again. I think. They’ve been sending me letters and bothering me on my shift. » she schrugged.

-What does the ministry want with you? »

-It has something to do with the fact that some people heard me speak snake one time, and it’s the end of the world. Apparently. » Severus’s heart skipped a beat.

-You’re a parselmouth. »

-Snakes aren’t so bad, when you get to know them. » She mumbled looking down. He cleared his throat, and put on his non judgemental face :

-So, the ministry is harassing you, because…? »

-I’m supposed to inherit from What’s-his-Name. Inherit is a nice way to put it : what would you call a bunch of deadly, cursed coffers, with unreachable gold, yourself? A heritage? I call that a problem. The ministry’s trying to get rid of it. And I would rather ignore them. »

-So, you don’t want the gold. »

-I have only one life, and it’s more precious than this gold. I’d rather keep it. »

Severus tried the noodles. They were way too spicy.

« Finish your plate, now. You’ll need strengh. I’ll get you to walk a bit, next. »

Well, thought Severus as he was ingesting that strange soup. I think I just found another way to die stupidly. He swallowed another mouthful, and let the fire in his throat quiet down a bit.

« You know, I could help with those coffers. » he offered, even though he knew it was not a good idea. She raised an eyebrow.

-Defense Against The Dark Arts in my domain of expertise, and I worked for the Dark Lord, once. I could find a way around the curses. Maybe. »

-Find a way to get back on your feet, first. Instead of talking nonesense. »

Severus Schrugged. If he was to tackle those coffers, he would have to find a strategy, anyway. It wasn’t as if they were in a hurry. Was it?

She was staring at him, as he was finishing his noodles :

« You really want to look into those coffers, don’t you? »

He didn’t answer. He definately would.

« You want your share, I suppose. » His share. He hadn’t even thought about it.

-You saved my life, though. »

-I did my job. But, you would… »

-Why not? » She crossed her arms and frowned, then threw them with a blank expression.

-I think we’re friends. Let’s make you walk, a little. I live here, by the way. »

King’s cross

Deadland’s King’s cross was dazzling. Real life King’s cross had never been that clean, of course. And the light… It would hurt his eyes, normally. For sure. But he did not need eyes, anymore. And it was not really King’s cross, was it? Why bloody King’s cross, anyway? And what now? Do i go by train? 

“The place represents our first significant trip. It’s metaphorical. It’s supposed to reassure us, I think.” said a voice. 

He turned around. He could not believe his ears. Or his eyes. Or whatever he could call the ghosts of his senses. Here she was. Stunning. Surreal. 

“You look like you’ve just seen a ghost,” smiled Lily. 

  • Well, I’m dead too, you know. You don’t risk to scare me.” 
  • You’re in between life and death, Sev.” 
  • Oh, not dead, yet? I suppose it’s a matter of hopping in the train.” She threw him a sharp look. 
  • You’re ready?” 
  • Of course. I’ve been ready for a while, wherever that leads me.” 

There was an awkward silence. The emotional type. He knew he had to say it. 

“Lily, I’m… I’m so sorry. About your son, about everything…” 

  • I know, Sev. And I know you did your best. You’ve been forgiven long ago.” 

Ghost tears were falling down his cheek. They felt realer than real. 

“But you were the worst professor in history, though. Snivellus.” interrupted another voice.  

Severus wiped his tears quickly and growled. 

“What is he doing here?” 

  • Severus…” 
  • No.” 
  • Sev…” 
  • No. This is my after life. I don’t need the likes of him in my vicinity. I just want to take my bloody train in PEACE.” 

Severus walked away from the couple angrily. 

“It took guts. What you did.” said his bully in the distance. 

Severus stopped and turned around. 

“I didn’t know.” 

  • It was in the job description, you stupid.” 
  • That with protecting my son, and all…” 
  • He has yet to die. Haven’t you talked to Dumbledore, recently? The boy’s survival was never in his great plan.” Severus added bitterly. James Potter was closer, now. 
  • My son is not going to die, just yet.” he said serenely. 
  • Yeah, hold on to that thought.” 
  • Neither are you.” said Lily, as James pushed him. 

Escaping Arkham

Harleen Quinsel had been summoned into mister Gunner’s office once again. It was the third time this week. He was very much on her heels, these days. Always a « good joke » to say. Always a pat on the wrong places. Always a little word. So the summoning had been unsurprising. He had to try, didn’t he? And no was not an option, even when it was. Up till now, he had let her go with a disagreeable remark about her professional skills, and a threat. The « You can’t escape me for ever » villain line she had expected. But one day, she felt, he might end up forcing himself on her. What would she do, then? She had no idea. Yet. She had told no one, about it. She was but an temporary worker, hardly out of her internship, and trying to make a living. Mister Gunner was a respectable member of the medical staff and had been a friend of Wayne’s. Who would believe her? Still all of this was eating her up, just like the raise on her rent, just like her family relationships, just like everything. Life had not been all that bad, of course… But lately, the good had also been… Strange. And she’d wondered what to do about all this.

She knocked on the door, and heard the usual « come on in » on the other end.

« Harleen, Harleen, Harleen… » the man said.

  • Mister Gunner. »

He must have been the most boring man in the world. About the exact contrary of her type, and that was not even taking into account his age. He was that caricature of a narcissistic, priviledged powerhungry boss man, with an obscure history as a baseball player. His office decoration was a mixture of his professional achievements, and his favorite baseball team tokens : a t shirt here, a bat there… A dream come true, this one.

« I missed you on the charity ball I invited you to, last time. »

  • Sorry. I was sick. Couldn’t your wife come over with you? » He chuckled.
  • You wouldn’t feel at ease at such an event, I suppose. »
  • You suppose right, mister Gunner. Though thanks for inviting me. »

She thought to herself : I wouldn’t feel at ease in any place where I’m forced to be near you. But she kept it down, of course. She wasn’t quite ready to get fired.

« The crowd would be intimidating, wouldn’t it? You would be afraid to be looked down upon. Of course. »

  • Oh, would I, mister Gunner? » Where was he going with this?
  • You’re certainly beautiful, as you know. But… I suppose… Some class would be missing. »
  • I wouldn’t dare pretending to be as elegant as your wife, mister Gunner. » Oh, wasn’t he agreeable.

She felt something was off, this time. More than usual. There was something up that creep’s sleeve. He seemed way too happy with himself. She didn’t like it.

Harleen was now ostensibly looking at the baseball bat on the wall. She was trying to avoid Gunner’s dirty gaze on her. She shuddered as her boss put a hand on her shoulder. It felt sluggish and sweaty.

« So you admit you’re not as classy as you seem? »

  • Not as elegant as your wife, as I said, mister Gunner. »

Goodness gracious. Where was he going with this?

« You’ve been hiding your game, sweetheart. » he purred, getting so close she could smell his foul breath.

  • Haven’t you? You seem all stuck up, but you’re actually really naughty. Aren’t you? » Cold sweat was running down her spine.
  • I don’t know what you mean. »
  • I figured you would say that. » he chuckled.

He retrieved his hand, and produced his phone. He placed the screen right in front of her eyes, so she could see. The screen saver was a picture of his wife and his first born son.

What will you be judging me for, now, you fucking hypocrite, she thought coldly.

She should have guessed. She should have known. Harleen bit her lips, as she watched a footage of her and Arthur Fleck, in his cell. Her heart sank, as she innerly beat herself up for not having thought that the surveillance cameras might have been everywhere.

So much for the good, she thought bitterly. It’s costing me my job. She was tired, and ashamed, and angry. She looked back up to the base ball bat on the wall, and those emotions turned into a sort of blank expectation. Guess I’ll finally know what will happen if he tries to force himself on me, now. Any minute.

And sure enough, as he put his phone back into his pocket, he grabed her shoulders again, let his foul breath spill on her neck, and whispered in her ear:

« Now, that was not very professionnal, was it? » She didn’t care to answer that statement. It hadn’t been. It hadn’t been planned either. She couldn’t feel sorry about it. It had been a beautiful moment.

  • Cat got your tongue? » Gunner seemed surprised and slightly disappointed to see she didn’t try to justify herself. She guessed it sounded less fun.
  • I should fire you for sleeping with a patient. Oh, I suppose he’s been much quieter since you offered him your… Services. But it’s still deontologically questionable. You would agree, wouldn’t you? »
  • Of course. » she sounded detached. She was slowly drifting out of herself. She could feel it.
  • Luckily for you, I like you. » A little too much. She felt nauseous, as he closed in, letting her feel his crotch against her rear.
  • I’m going to let this pass, Harleen. People do make mistakes… » Of course, there was a price. He leaned in to whisper again:
  • But you see : I too would like to benefit from your talents. Should you be nice, the surveillance tape could mysteriously disappear. Should you be very nice, this video would have less risks to be shared. I hope we have an agreement. » She could hear him smile. He’d played all his cards, here.

He grabed her breasts. The nausea had turned to ice. She was beyond disgust. Beyond any kind of shame, fury, fear. Beyond any heavy sensation. This wasn’t real. This was comedy. Her life was comedy. So, why would she let the scenario unfold without having any fun?

When his hands started to go down to her hips, she pushed him slightly as she turned around. She hadn’t thought about it. It had just happened. She had been looking at that base ball bat, and next thing she’d known, it had been in her hands. And she was facing him, now. He looked taken aback. She saw herself, felt herself lick the bat from top to bottom, as though she were hungry for lust. The old, dusty wood felt wild on her tongue.

« Oh, but I am a naughty girl… » she teased. She could hardly recognize her own voice.

She knew, deep down, that she was going to make a decision, in the next few seconds. But her feral self was dominating her, and there was no past, no future, anymore. Only the moment. She smiled, and stared. As she licked her lips, she noticed an exciting spark flicker in his eyes. Fear. When he started taking a step back, her reptilian brain screamed : prey. And she snapped.

Heart thumping, ears ringing, head spinning. That was a red, sticky, breathtaking, sensational kind of fun. She was no longer that good old Harleen. She was something else. Like a beast had been released from her chest. She was that beast. Gone way past civilization. Now, wasn’t that nice to have crossed the looking glass? To gaze at the world from the other side of fear? Finally? She had just lost her place, as a respectable citizen. She had just gained everything. Gunner was now a bloody mess. There was no such thing as Gunner, anymore. Only some gorish, rubber like human sized puppet, on the floor. A disposable, horror movie accessory.

« But I’ll be nice, mister Gunner. » she chuckled.

« Very nice. I promise. »

She noticed the phone that Gunner had droped, when she had smashed his skull. She hit it hard, until there was nothing left of it but phone dust.

Then, she walked to his office, and opened the drawer where she knew he kept a gun.

« You were really slow to draw out your gun, for a man called Gunner. » She put the gun in her pocket, and walked out of the room with the bat on her shoulder.

Where’s my baby? She thought to herself. Someone would be pleased to see her.


Arthur Fleck was positively bored, in the usual support group. There was something soothing to routine, he guessed, in the mind numbing, soul sucking sense of the term. He’d been invited to share, again, and he’d looked at the attending nurse in silence, mournfully. Two guards were at the door, for security’s sake, of course. Else, he would have already been out of here. The only thing that was keeping his spirits up, on this dull occasion, was thinking about her. His personal angel. And thinking about his bastard lying father Wayne, dying in the gutter. Wish I had killed him myself. He smiled to himself. How’s little Bruce, now? He wondered.

« Oh, you seem to be in a good mood, now, mister Fleck. What were you thinking about? Are you ready to tell us? » Arthur rolled his eyes.

  • You wouldn’t get it. »
  • That’s what you always say. Why don’t you still give us a try? »
  • No. I’m good. Thanks. »

Unexpectedly, there was a loud BANG on the door. The guards fell, in a dampish THUD. And the smell of blood filled the room, as she stood, fixing her hair at the entrance. Everyone was mute with shock. Was it a dream? Was he hallucinating, again? Then why was everyone else also reacting? She looked like a goddess, untamed, unbothered. Unreal. When her scrunchie was in place, she swang her baseball bat back to her shoulder, and threw something in his direction :

« Hey, catch. »

It was a gun. He’d never been this excited, in his entire life. It felt real. It was real. He knew that. What had just happened? Was he in heaven?

Then, she looked at the nurse, who was staring at her with a horrified expression :

« Hello, Betty. I met mister Gunner in his office. I think he’s unwell. You should really check on him. » Her incredible green eyes darted back to him.

  • You ready to go, puddin’? »

He laughed, as he shot at the ceiling. Everyone freaked.

An angel in Arkham

Arkham wasn’t such a bad place. Never had to work your ass off on terrible jobs to pay a ridiculous rent in order to sleep in a rat hole. Never had to lie or adapt. Never. This was the best part. The twist was that you were forced to take drugs to be controllable, and you were locked up. Was that fair? No. Arthur Fleck was currently waiting for yet another psychiatrist. They’d been hesistant to send anyone since he tried to escape and killed a nurse. Hilarious. So, he’d been isolated for two weeks now, no explanation. Who was it going to be, this time? Or would they let him rot alone in his cell forever? That would be unprofessionnal. He was making plans to escape, as usual, when he heard footsteps in the corridor. He heard the key rattle in the lock. And then, his heart stopped. An angel had just opened the door. She had pale skin, blong hair, and the most beautiful green eyes he’d ever seen.

« I must be hallucinating. » He said out loud.

« Ha. Ha. Ha.  » replied the vision.

« Mister Fleck, will you sit down? »

She sat opposite him across a little table. The furniture was screwed on the floor.

« Good evening, mister Fleck. »

  • Good evening, doctor… »
  • Miss Harleen Quinsel. I’m no doctor. » she sighed.
  • They’re too scared to send you proper personel, now, mister Fleck. »
  • But you’re not. » Arthur noticed.
  • I volonteered. This assignment sounded better than cleaning vomit again. »
  • No vomit to clean here… » Arthur assured her.
  • Though wait…  » He looked around, and pretended to throw up. She chuckled.
  • You’re laughing! »
  • You caught me, mister Fleck. I’m supposed to ask you how you are, since the incident. »
  • Good! I’m terrific, doctor Quinn. I’ve never been feeling better. »
  • Waw. » She whistled.
  • That sounds nice. Perhaps, I should try killing people myself. » he chuckled.
  • I recommand. You really should. »

Beautiful and funny. That was a rare combination.

« So, mister Fleck, have you been taking your medication? »

  • No, doctor Quinn. I haven’t. » she scoffed.
  • You’re supposed to say you have, even if that’s not the case. »
  • I have, then. Medication is my passion. » She smiled and took some notes.
  • Alright, then. So, how did you deal with the withdrawal effects? »
  • I haven’t been taking medication in a long time, doctor Quinn. I used to take pills that would calm me down, back then, but they cut the fundings. »
  • By « back then », do you mean before your performance on Murray Franklin’s show? »
  • Yeah. Oh, they’ve got the fundings to numb me now, don’t they? But why would I take my meds just to reassure people? I don’t feel as awful as I used to, anymore. You’d have to make me, doctor Quinn. »
  • I’m not a doctor, mister Fleck. Not everyone can afford the student loans, and the scolarships are scarce. »
  • I don’t care, doctor Quinn. You’re the only one having the guts to come to my cell. »
  • Still not giving me neither the title, nor the money. »
  • I think you should have both. Have you seen the show? » He asked suddenly.
  • Of course! The whole nation did. I would usually switch channel when I saw Murray Franklin’s face on the screen. I found him pretty obnoxious. That night, of course, was different. »
  • Because I was entertaining. » She grinned.
  • I have to admit you caught my attention. »
  • So, what did you think of Murray’s death? »
  • I was shocked, but I didn’t like Murray Franklin. »
  • He’d invited me on his show to make fun of me, humiliate me in front of everyone. Does that sound fair to you? »
  • It isn’t, mister Fleck. The world isn’t fair. Murray Franklin was rotten. »
  • Well I decided to go. And he’s rotten, now. You can say. » Arthur Fleck flashed a wicked smile. She smiled back.
  • Joke’s on him, right, mister Fleck? »
  • Joke’s on them. I will never let anyone treat me this way. Ever again. Does his death make you sad, though? »
  • Quite frankly, no. I’ll let the mourning to his fans. »
  • My mother… She used to worship him. She was obsessed. His death would have killed her, if… I… I hadn’t… » He let his voice trail off.
  • You know, I’m not really sure she was my mother. I don’t even know whether anything she told me was ever true. She lied to me all my life. Only lies! » His ragefull fist exploded on the little table. Harleen Quinsel flinched. Arthur fleck lowered his gaze and bit his lip.
  • Your file says you were adopted by a very unstable woman. What I don’t understand is : why would the adoption system let an unstable woman adopt a child, when there are so many suitable families unable to have children. There must have been a mistake. »
  • You think I wasn’t adopted, doctor Quinn? »
  • Miss. Quinsel. I think I should investigate, mister Fleck. »
  • Please. Call me Arthur. »
  • Arthur? What, are we intimate? »
  • Anytime. Anywhere. Any way you like, doctor. » she blushed.

Footsteps were heard in the corridor. Arthur Fleck was feverish with anticipation. His personal angel was coming back, today. He’d been more or less quiet since he’d met her the last time. Not that he hadn’t been planning his next escape, but he had wanted to meet her again. A whole week had been long, though. But he’d been compensating with agreeable hallucinations. It was real, this time. She was finally coming back as scheduled.

« Good evening, mister Fleck. » she said, as she was sitting opposite him across the little table.

  • Doctor Quinn. I missed you, you know. I live for our discussions. »
  • Miss Quinsel, mister Fleck. » She tried to hide a smile, and brushed a strand of hair behind her ear.
  • How have you been since the last time we’ve met? »
  • Good. Quiet, you see. No murder. Yet. »
  • Well, you’ll spare me, today. Won’t you, mister Fleck? »
  • Oh, murder is the last thing on my mind, when I see you, doctor Quinn. But to tell you the truth, I would be lying if I pretended I don’t have other… Instincts. »
  • Mister Fleck!… » she blushed. He chuckled.
  • Don’t be embarassed. You do know it’s just a healthy reaction for a man, especially a man in my position. You’re a beautiful woman. » Before he could think any better, he reached out, and re placed the strand of hair that had been flying off behind her ear, again. She cleared her throat.
  • Will you stop this? » she mumbled weakly. She cleared her throat, again.
  • Merry Christmas, by the way. »
  • Oh! Is it, already? How time flies. Well, you’re here. I’m having a very merry christmas, indeed. » She lowered her gaze.
  • What are you trying to do, mister Fleck? A seductive spell? »
  • I wish! But I wouldn’t stand a chance, now, would I, doctor Quinn? » She coughed lightly.
  • So, how have you been dealing with the holliday season? »
  • Changing subjects, are we? I hardly noticed it. Not that hollidays had ever been exciting to me, even before this whole mess, you know… Back when I was outside of this place. But every day feels pretty much the same, in here. Your presence put aside, that is. »
  • Some patients suffer from nostagia, on holliday season. They feel homesick and bittersweet. They’re restless. They don’t sit well with the seclusion. You seem strangely in peace. »
  • Sick of what home, doctor Quinn? I would really have no home to go back to. I had no friends. I had lost my job. Not that it had been the job of my dreams, anyway. I had no family. The only one I had was a liar. I’m not even sure she was my mom. Every day was the same, out there, too. The Murray Franklin’s show was the only thing I’d shared with… Whoever the fuck Penny Fleck was. The holliday season is just a distraction. People try to pretend they’re not horrible, and they fail. You know what? This place is just as bad as any other place, doctor Quinn. Not that I intend to rot in here for ever. But there’s no nostalgia to embrace. »
  • You’re very cynical. »
  • Prove me I’m wrong. »
  • You’re cynical, mister Fleck. But you’re not wrong. »
  • Oof. I sense you’re not filled by the christmas spirit either. How come you’d rather spend time with an insane criminal than with your own family, doctor Quinn, hum? » She sighed. He stared.
  • who hurt you? I ll kill them. »
  • Now your flirting technique is working. » He giggled, and she schrugged.
  • You’re not wrong. Perhaps, except about your mother. » She produced a yellowed cardboard file.
  • Merry Christmas, again. » Arthur Fleck frowned, and reached out.

In the file lay four sheets of paper, filled with letters and figures.

« What the hell is that? » he asked.

  • This, » she explained, showing him two of the sheets,
  • Is an analysis of your DNA. It was collected back when you were arrested. » Now, she was showing him the two others.
  • And this, is an analysis of the DNA of Penny Fleck. It’s much older, as you can see. It dates back from when you were in her care. You must have been a baby, at the time. She’d been equally arrested. »
  • What do they say? » Arthur Fleck’s features were dark, and tense.
  • According to the data, the sequences are akin. Your DNA matches hers. That proves she was your biological mother. » Arthur looked devastaded, and confused.
  • You mean : I killed my own mother? She wasn’t lying to me? But the file said… »
  • Yeah, that’s what I had been wondering, too. Why would they lie in an official medical file about you being adopted? It makes no sense. Unless… » She hesitated for a while.
  • That might not be the truth. I have no proof about what I am about to tell you, here. So don’t take it as an objective view point. It’s only a theory… »
  • Spit it out. » He was cold, and she was getting nervous.
  • I… This adoption nonesense would perhaps mean something if your birth had somehow been disturbing to someone with the capacity to falsify the information. »
  • Thomas Wayne… » growled Arthur between his teeth. He was clenching his fists on the table. Hard. She cleared her throat, and went on.
  • Nothing is for certain. It’s the only way i can make sense of your situation. But I might be mistaken. If my theory is right, it was in someone powerful’s best interests to blur out the circomstances of your birth. Someone with a reputation to maintain… » Arthur Fleck burst out laughing. It was that painful, irrepressible, sick fit of laughter. He hadn’t had dealt with a crisis like this one in a while.
  • I know who that is. » he laughed and growled.
  • Thomas Wayne. » His laughter was killing him.
  • That bastard! » He wanted to rip somebody’s heart out.
  • He lied to my face! » His fist fell hard on the table. A deep crack opened on it. Harleen Quinsel had sprung from her chair. She was white with terror. He spread an apeasing hand.
  • No, no, no… Don’t be scared. I’m not going to hurt you. See? I’m quiet. I’m quiet… » She sat back down, but she was trembling a little.

A silence settled in between them. Arthur knew he had to break it, or she would end up running away.

« How did you get this information? » He asked. Her voice was hoarse. It took her a few minutes to get her mind to work again.

  • I… Uh… I had to sneek into the director’s office on his lunch break. He keeps this kind of information in his archive. »
  • It was risky, I bet. You took risks for me. »
  • I… » she blushed.
  • I didn’t. I took risks for the truth. » His face shone with a wicked smile.
  • You took risks. For me. » She was so utterly embarrassed.
  • No… No… No… » she stuttered. Then, she got up, and mumbled a:
  • Good bye, mister Fleck. »

But by the time she was at the door, he had joined her, and closed it. They were very close, at this point. Which was strange, because at this distance, he could smell her scent.

« What about my condition? » He had to ask.

  • Your mother… She was deeply instable. I’m… Afraid this story about her drug addicted boyfriend abusing you is highly probable. » He was strangely quiet.
  • At least, I didn’t kill her for no reason. » He schrugged bitterly.
  • Good bye, doctor Quinn. »

He moved to allow her to reach the door.

« Hey, mister Fleck? » She said when she was about to turn the handle.

« Knock, knock. »

  • Who’s there? » he smiled.
  • Not Thomas and Martha Wayne. They were shot in an alley, like any other worthless clown. » He laughed. A real laugh, this time. She was really an angel, this one. He stepped closer, and ran his hands through her hair. She gasped.
  • You have to stop me, now. » he warned.
  • Because if I’m getting closer, I risk to kiss you. And if I kiss you, I won’t be able to stop. Do you understand? You have to understand. You have to know, because you’re the sensible one. »

He had said it. But when he did step closer, she didn’t move away. And they kissed.

From Hogwarts to uncle Fester

Despicable uncle Fester,

I made it to my new school. It s a nightmare. We were welcomed by a giant. No one was eaten. What a waste of a giant. We crossed a dark river at night, and then, met ghosts. I ve seen scarier. I had to put on a horrible hat that screamed « Slytherin! » as soon at it was on my head. The worst thing is that people cheered. And I had to join their table. And it took ages. Everyone was so cheerful. Rosy cheeks, and merry voices. Dreadful.

They re making me sleep in a room with other girls. So, I tried to follow mother’s advice (don t tell her) : I tried to be civil. I offered them to pet Thing, and even to play with my brand new guillotine. They just pushed their bed away from mine. Thing was so upset. Oh, well. If they won t play with me, I ll play with them. I m not out of ideas.

I ll be writing to you soon.

I m very glad to be rid of you lot, and I hope you rot in Hell.

Curses,

Wendesday.

PS : I m still mad at mother and father for the summer camp, but when you got to know her, aunt Debbie was quite sweet. Still dead, is she?

Despicable uncle Fester,

Actually, this school isn t that bad. I thought I was going to be bored to death, but things finally seem to get interesting. This boy, Harry Potter, his whole family was massacred by a dark wizard. He s the only survivor. The dark wizard disappeared mysteriously. I can understand why he would be embarrassed if he didn t manage to kill a baby. They say that he (didn t catch his name) will rise again to finish him off. I dare hope ! I can t wait.

Meanwhile, there has been a few minor welcome distractions. Harry Potter became ustable on his broom on a quidditch game at some point. I really thought he would fall. It was a dissapointment. Someone must have been cursing him, I guess. But then, I noticed a girl who was trying to set fire to professor Snape s robes. Too bad she wasn t in my house. Too bad I was too far away to help. You know I do like fire.

Also, a troll has been forcing entry in the school. For some reason, the professors sent us to our common rooms. What do they have against trolls? Only three gryffindor kids were out there, they say, among which (guess who?) Harry Potter. These gryffindors are favored, if you ask me. They seem to be the only ones who get to have fun.

Well, see you soon for the summer holidays.

rot in Hell.

Curses,

Wendesday.

PS : Please tell grand mother to bake her filtiest eye of newt for me when I m back. All we eat here is bacon, chicken, potatoes, and cake. So unhealthy.

Despicable uncle Fester,

I m back in school, and already about to drink my arsenic. Thank you for my new crossbow. It will be nice to go hunting. The crossing to school was nicer than by boat. Our carriages were tracked by ghastly horses. It was as though they were bringing us to Death’s domain. Lovely.

I tried divination class. It was interesting. Our professor had so many disasters to predict. It s too bad I won t be able to participate anymore. All of these colors and sweet smelling fumes. I found the classroom overwhelming.

So far, no disaster has been happening. Well… I might be a little pessimistic : no dark wizard and no death yet, but there has been talk about a secret torture chamber hidden in the school, with a monster. There has been strange noises in the corridors, and some of my schoolmates have gone catatonic. Do not tell mother I said this, but this is the effect I dare hope to have on a man if I ever marry. Seriously, do not tell her. She would go on and on about how I m growing up, and becoming so very romantic. That would annoy me.

Give Pugsley a kick.

I m so very glad to be rid of you lot.

Rot in Hell.

Curses,

Wendesday.

Despicable Uncle Fester,

Oh, I m so jealous ! One little chase, and my crossbow s confiscated. These gryffindors with their friend Harry Potter, they get to stroll in the corridors without getting detention. How do they do that? It s so unfair, because I did try! And all the fun happens at night! I mean : who doesn t want to find a torture chamber with a monster? Why only them? I m so sick of their priviledge. I told so to professor Snape. He denied firmly. Said : « No, there is certainly no privilidged children in this very egalitarian school. » And then, he just added random points to slytherin, out of the blue. It was so illogical I decided he had done that as a statement. My guess is : the obvious special treatment these gryffindors have been enjoying must be a decision of the headmaster. I suspect professor Snape is slightly annoyed by this.

He s a good professor, and tolerable company. I make my cauldrons explode regularly to get detention in his class. He never fails me. It s just the most agreable place in Hogwarts. Comfortable, and tasteful. On top of that, professor Snape makes me manipulate filthy worms and crush them for potions. Favorite. Punishment. Ever.

Well, rot in Hell, now.

See you all soon for summer.

Curses,

Wendesday.

PS : sad news : I heard the poor monster was dead.

Despicable uncle Fester,

I thought I would be sitting in my cabin alone as usual, when this agressively colorful girl came to sit next to me. Her name is Luna. For some reason, they call her Loony. Then, Neville Longbotton (he s a gryffindor) came along. He didn t want to sit next to us. He mumbled something like : « But that s Loony and Oddams… ». And then, the sister of Ronald Weasley (he s one friend of Potters), she pushed him in. Luna was reading a magazine upside down. She s alright, now that I got to know her. You can t dislike a raving lunatic.

So I finally talked to gryffindors ! You can t go wrong with compliments, so I told Longbottom : « You re a living catastrophe. It s inspirational. » And he is. So clumpsy. I hope I made a good impression. Befriending priviledged people always comes in handy. I wonder what Potter will come up with to entertain us, this year?

Rot in Hell.

Curses,

Wendesday.

Despicable uncle Fester,

Guess what? A dangerous psychopath broke out from Azkhaban, and means to come for Harry Potter ! What a jolly lot, these gryffindors. It s unfair the other houses have no party of their own.

I did bump into the Boy-who-Lived, once. I said : « You ve got horrible eyes. At least, you re entertaining. » And he said : « Talking about entertainment, what did you chase Pansy Parkingson with a crossbow for, anyway? » And I said : « Girls just want to have fun. » And he smirked. See, compliments do work. Had I been in gryffindor, i m sure we would have been getting along quite well. He seems to like death.

How is Pugsley doing is school? He s been expelled for lauching bombs in class again, I expect? I don t suppose mother and father ceased being disgusting, did they?

Well, see you soon for summer.

Rot in Hell.

Curses,

Wendesday.

PS : The prisonner on the loose is being chased by interesting soul eating shadow things that invaded the school. Of course, Harry Potter seems to attract them particularly. They made him faint, once. Almost broke his neck at quidditch.

Despicable uncle Fester,

This year is going to be interesting. our strange, old school director decided to host a deadly competition. It s about earning a cup, after surviving terrible trials. Supposidly, you can t apply before seventeeen. But of course, yet again, there are no rules for priviledged kids. Harry Potter is in. He really wants to be at the center of all of the dangerous events. He likes death, see?

His friend, Ronald Weasley, will not participate. He s so mad about this. Giving Potter the cold shoulder. I told this grumpy red face that if he wanted trials and suffering, I would gladly help. His ears grew very red, and he sighed, passing by. I m not sure he got the message. I could really help. You know… Teenagers…

I ll write to you soon. You lot rot in Hell.

Curses,

Wendesday.

PS : Our new defense against the dark arts professor has a funny face. Makes me think about Lurch.

Despicable uncle Fester,

We ve got our first death. One of the contestants of the triwizard tournament is gone. Too bad you couldnt come along. Mother and Father were on and on : « Oh, this just like Nevermore! » Don t worry, though. Lurch took pictures.

There were dragons which almost burned the contestants. And then, they tastefully drowned their loved ones at the bottom of a lake. Thing was thrilled. He said hands down for the organization. Unfortunately, there also was a ball. They made us dance. Oh, but you know mother and father. They made quite an impression on the dance floor. Again.

Anyway, the final trial was a dark, foggy, monster filled maze. Potter and Diggory (the other contestant) decided to grab the cup together. Silly, if you ask me. But then, they disappeared. After a while, Potter reappeared, in tears, Diggory s corpse was in his arms. It was quite a moment. Potter said the dark wizard had just risen again. Clumpsy one, he killed the wrong kid. People tend to say Potter s gone mad, but that would make sense.

We ll be back home soon.

Rot in Hell.

Curses,

Wendesday.

PS : What s this darn wizard s name, again?

Despicable uncle Fester,

Where to begin? People are so strange. They ve been going on and on about this dark wizard, and the way Harry Potter survived him, ever since I got here. And now that he s back, they won t believe in his obvious return? Really? Harry Potter keeps on repeating that this is real, that the dark wizard killed Cedric Diggory. He already got punished by our new defense against the dark arts professor. And don t get me started about her!

She smiles all the time. Like a fat pirrhana hungry for blood. And she keeps repeating there is no dark wizard on his way to attack the school. What a kill joy she is ! Classes are boring. I mean : defense against the dark arts was pretty bad, already, and she s our worst professor yet. But that s not even the worst thing… She wears PINK ! I mean : what was the school director thinking?! We re children! Why would he DO this to us?

I had to point out that she was talking nonesense. In detention, she made me endure the sight of kitten plates all over the walls ! It was the scariest thing I had ever seen ! To avoid being an absolute monster, she made me write with a torture quill. But still. I ll never forget the kittens.

I m so glad to be rid of you lot.

Rot in Hell.

Curses,

Wendesday.

Despicable uncle Fester,

Who would have thought? Who would have thought I would end up having this much fun? hermione Granger (you know : the gryffindor pyromaniac friend of Potter’s) decided that enough was enough : she told Harry Potter to give a bunch of students defense against the dark arts lessons. Basically, we’re standing in a room, and throwing spells at each other.

This is totally forbidden, of course : i did tell you Umbridge was evil, in the wrong sense of the term. Well… She became the headmistress, now. She’s making new rules almost everyday. I don’t know why, but they gave our group the old school director’s name. Who cares? We throw spells at each other’s faces, and Harry potter has visions.

See you all soon for summer.

Rot in Hell.

Curses,

Wendesday.

PS : Even Draco Malfoy is getting interesting : his father is in jail.

Despicable uncle Fester,

I can’t believe I’m going to say that, but I miss Dolores Umbridge. Not the woman, of course, but rather the mere chaos she unleashed. Granger organizing secret reunions (she had cursed the paper we signed, did you know?). The Weasley twins showing true potential. My frankenstein monster making machine reappearing mysteriously on my bed after confiscation. Good days indeed. In the end, she was truly a good director. Inspiring to all of us.

Now, the old director is back, and life is a lot duller. I hope Harry potter will come up with something. He’s a living target, this boy. The fun might come to us. I’m hopeful, as you can see. You can tell mother. Just to make her worry.

Here’s what you can keep to yourself, however : there’s something to Draco Malfoy, these days. He stopped giggling so much, and he looks sick. It’s like he grew up since the dark wizard rose again.

Glad to be rid of you lot.

Rot in Hell.

Curses,

Wendesday.

Despicable uncle Fester,

In the end, Draco Malfoy was just as bored as I was. He somehow found a way to let agressive followers of the dark wizard into the castle. The upsetting thing is : how come I hadn’t thought about it myself?

There were dozens of these people. They even brought a werewolf. The adorable thing said he liked to play with children, so I chased him with an axe. It was fun. Ronald Weasley called me mental. That means : mad. He knows how to talk to girls, this boy.

Did you know? Draco Malfoy happens to have murderous tendencies. He tried to kill professor Dumbledore. He’s not as boring as I thought. But it made no sense. The school director ended up being killed by professor Snape, however. Which makes much more sense. That s just basic collegue to collegue relationship.

The funeral was decent. Almost. There were centaurs. They shot arrows, but they didn’t kill anything. They must be terrible archers.

I’ll be back soon, as you know.

Rot in Hell.

Curses,

Wendesday.

PS : Everyone is so scared since the old Dumbledore died. The dark wizard is winning over. Next year should be quite something.

Despicable uncle Fester,

Where the hell is Harry Potter? My arrival here was full of pleasant surprises : professor Snape is now the school director, and dark wizards are invading the place. They look foul and threatening. But no sign of Harry Potter yet. They are looking for him. Strange. Why would he hide? He likes danger so much.

He’s not the only student to have disappeared. Weasley and Granger vanished, among others. That’s too bad : they would have loved our new defense against the dark arts courses. They teach us funny spells, like the Cruciatus curse. They cast it on the students for punishment. It tickles like my electric chair. I’ll try it on Pugsley.

Longbottom and others are being rebellious, these days. They’re contradictory, insulting, and disturb the peace regularly. Of course, I’m with them.

I’ve got to go. Longbottom and I planned to annoy Alecto Carrow again. Hopefully, we’ll get caught.

Rot in Hell.

Curses,

Wendesday.

PS : Professor Snape looks like a corpse, these days. Charming man.

Despicable uncle Fester,

What a night ! Harry Potter came back. Apparently, he wanted to find an object of sorts he had left in the school. A pretext, if you ask me. He must have been bored, wherever he was, knowing him. He was with his two best friends.

The dark wizard finally came along to confront him, but Potter decided to remain elusive. And dead right, too. Else, where would have been the fun ? So, the dark wizard threatened to attack the school if he didn’t show up. D’ha ! We’d been waiting for years !

And then, disorder flushed in the school. Dark wizards throwing spells, monstrous spiders, giants… Now that was what i would call a last day of school to my heart. Even professor Mc Gonnagal set the school statues to rise. Impressive spell. I wonder if I could try it out ? The werewolf from last time came back. I chased him all night. He’d look quite nice, as a decoration in the living room. I will stuff him, I think. I know mother likes tasteful souvenirs.

I’m so sad that I’ve got to come back. I must admit it’s been a bunch of interesting few years. The dark wizard is dead (and even his snake, poor thing). But I’m sure Harry Potter will find other enemies to chase. Don’t tell mother, but I almost shed a tear. Hey, perhaps I will study the dark arts, next ?

See you soon.

Rot in Hell.

Curses,

Wendesday.

PS : Don’t bother going to King’s cross. I’m going to steal a thestral.