« May I change my porridge, please ? It’s too hot. » asked the famous Harry Noble to the cook of the prestigious Poodle school canteen.
-Of course, Sir. Sorry, Sir. All of my excuses. » answered the cook bowing down over and over again in front of the thin little boy with straight, untidy hair, and ugly glasses.
-My goodness… Is it so difficult to make decent porridge, these days ? »
The new broomflight teacher was taken aback :
« What’s all the fuss about that boy ? »
The pointy hatted school director replied :
-Don’t you know the worldwide fame of the family ? The Nobles were the most powerful wizards ever. Unfortunately, the Noseless One, the most powerful villain ever, killed them both in their sleep. God knows how, this little boy, who was only a baby then, managed to fight back and stay alive. The Noseless One intends to come back to kill him, someday. But since he’s a Noble, Harry has to face something even worse : his mother stayed in the world of the living to watch over him until he’s 18. Don’t you read celebrity magazines ? Anyway, Mrs Noble is very keen on her son’s education. »
-I see. »
-You do not want to be in trouble with Mrs Noble. »
-Of course not. »
-He needs a special treatment, this one. »
-He does. »
-I mean it. »
-But… Come on… He’s so average look- »
Thunder rolled, and a flash of lightening torned the ceiling and disintegrated the director’s office table.
« I told you. », the director said.
Somewhere dark, the evil ex-fairy godmother Frostsnowqueen made plans to steal the Diamontine. The naive elders of the Poodle School had hidden the precious stone of power in the deepest cellar of the canteen, along with the finest wines they put aside for the teachers. So, with the help of her fairy friends, she would become the most powerful witch the world had ever seen, and master the universe. Ha. Ha. Ha.
« Mom. Stop scaring the hell out of my teachers, please. It’s making me unpopular. That’s so embarrassing. »
-But Honey… » argued the great ghost in a white wizard’s robe :
-You’re a Noble. Popularity’s for ordinary people. Ordinary’s for low class people. »
At the canteen, Harry had switched from the table of the popular folks with gel in their hair to the table of the much despised Hermione-knows-it-all and her Ronsy clumsy ginger friend. Ronsy’s sister had just been bringing him a pack of opera singing candies, when a terrible, ghostly voice paralyzed the whole room :
« YOU SHALL NOT EAT THAT, HARRY NOBLE ! »
-These are only sweets, mum. »
When everyone recovered from this fright, Hermione and Ronsy got up and took their things :
« I don’t wanna be your friend anymore. »
-Your mom’s too weird. »
-Books are safer. Come on, Ronsy. »
Later during the day, Mrs Noble traumatized the enchantment teacher, got chased by the gardening teacher with a rake, and harassed the school director to create special upperclass marks for her son. Now, high school was going to be hell. Harry wanted to hide. And he found just the right occasion when he saw the cooks heading towards the deepest cellar.
Somewhere dark in the same cellar, evil fairies were rubbing hands and laughing about how they had managed to steal the formula to unlock the Diamontine, and how Frostsnowqueen had managed to enter the school in the form of new broomflight teacher. Soon, they would master the universe. Ha. Ha. Ha.
Then, there was this little drunken boy. He looked like that kid from the magazines, but he was way too small to be a Noble. Then, he was mumbling to himself bout how unfair life was, how he didn’t care about interesting marks, and how he wanted to become crystal ball soccer player instead of a stupid professional wizard anyway. And he disappeared in the long corridors of the deepest cellar.
« Got the formula ? »
-Yep. »
-Found the stone ? »
-Yep. »
-50/50 of the power, right ? »
-Of course. »
Frostsnowqueen brought the fairies along the corridors. And then, the Diamontine was there. And then… That magazine Noble thingy had fallen asleep right on the top of it. Well… That was annoying, but easily dealt with. With a violent gesture of her hand, Frostsnowqueen threw Harry on the wall nearby the stone. Harry woke up all of a sudden, and yawned :
« Oh no. Who wants to kill me again ? But you stop, guys, please, I always survive ! »
Harry took the formula from the fairy’s hands :
« Look, this doesn’t even rhyme. »
He read the formula aloud. A bright, purple light got out of the stone. The fairies screamed, Frostsnowqueen screamed, then all was silent.
« Oh, crap. » muttered Harry.
He sat down and fell back to sleep. When he was found by the cook the next morning, he was grounded by the director to fix his crumbled ceiling. The director hadn’t been able to reassure mommy. The popular kids with gel in their hair whispered to each other that getting drunk was such a human reaction. Like, totally out of fashion. Ronsy went crazy :
« I can’t believe you got drunk ! That’s too cool ! »
Hermione wen on with a long speech about the benefits of experiment. Ronsy concluded :
« In the end, Harry isn’t so much of a freak. »
dessin : Image par<a href= »https://pixabay.com/fr/users/GraphicMama-team-2641041/?utm_source=link-attribution&utm_medium=referral&utm_campaign=image&utm_content=1456914″>GraphicMama-team</a> de <a href= »https://pixabay.com/fr/?utm_source=link-attribution&utm_medium=referral&utm_campaign=image&utm_content=1456914″>Pixabay</a>
Les pattes de mouche de la puce polichinelle 